The first week of 'school'

Well, we made it...maybe it was by the skin of our teeth but we did it. Here is out it went

Tuesday morning:
Isabel- woke up extra early (of course) 5:30 am and so I had to rush to get ready and get her ready. She was sleepy but fought sleep the whole morning.

Me- I put her in the car seat and kissed her goodbye and she smiled and gave me a slobbery kiss back. J drove off with her and I stood in the driveway and sobbed. I didn't let myself get too hysterical because I knew I had to keep it together so I could work. The two pluses: It was a beautiful morning (its always harder for me to be sad on 'nice' days) and second I actually could get ready pretty quickly without Isabel and was on my way with little time to dwell.

Isabel- J said she snored the whole way to 'school' and he woke her and brought her in...she cried hysterically but after a few minutes they said she calmed down and J dropped her stuff off outside the classroom since she was OK

Me- I called 2h in and they said she had been crying on and off all morning...GAH. I knew it.

Isabel- I guess she stood by the window and watched the kids play outside and was distractable on and off.

Me- I left early and peeked in the window of her classroom and saw her standing up in the corner leaning on the window and it hit me: She is a big girl, a toddler almost. But she's MY girl. I was proud and in awe of her.

Isabel- When I came in she cried and once she was in my arms it was the happiest sweetest reunion with laughs and snuggles. The rest of the day was great!

Wednesday we had the day to ourselves and we had a fun morning and a playdate in the afternoon. Unfortunately, she's got an ear infection and the medicine made her projectile vommit in her carseat, yuck!

Today, she got up later and we did the same routine as Tuesday. She left and I didn't cry but was nervous about how day 2 would go. I was hopeful she would start to get the hang of it.

Isabel- Got to daycare after a nap in the car and when J handed her off she clung to him like a koala. That was the first time she ever did that to him. He said it melted his heart. She was hysterical. I guess she was like that on and off the whole time.

Me- I didn't call or email or anything. I needed to focus at work and I knew if I checked in I would be tempted to rush over and get her. So I came in and didn't see her in her classroom. She was with an infant teacher. She was stonefaced when she saw me. She was tired, in a different outfit and smelled of sunscreen. She was still huffing and sighning so I knew alot of crying happened. Once we were in the car she nursed and dropped off to sleep. Once on the way, I cried.

Am I torturing her? Will she ever get 'used to this'? Is she going to lose her trust in me?

Cue the mom guilt.

After she had napped she was herself and we ate lunch and did our normal stuff together, including playing with the dogs in the yard and a trip to Target.

Unfortunately, the medicine saga continues because I gave her a dose after dinner and she projectile vommitted in her high chair. Poor thing, she was scared and a mess so I stuck her in the sink and hosed her off before trudging upstairs for a real bath. As I write this I can just imagine my sisters cringing because they HATE throw up! Now that she eats solids, its pretty gross!

Anyway, I knew this was going to be hard because she's got to adjust to change and she's still learning that concept. Everyone says it will be good for both of us. Ugh I hate that, I know to some degree its true. At the same time, this part sucks and it would be so much easier if she liked it because then I would be fine with this. Its not that I LOVE having her need me every moment. I mean its sweet but tiring and demanding being the ONLY one that can soothe/satisfy her most of the time.

On the bright side, I was able to step back into work right where I left off. I even got a pat on the back and some encouragment from friends and co-workers. It felt nice and validating and at this point, thats really what I needed.