Where were you on 9/11?

Yesterday, I had The Today Show on while we were getting ready and Isabel was playing. Of course, with 9/11's 10 year anniversary there were video montages and clips of that day that will live in infamy. I couldn't watch but I minute of it and tears were streaming down my face.

September 11, 2001 was the first time I personally witnessed a national tragedy. I know in other generations folks can say where they were on D-day, when JFK was assinnated or when the shuttle fell from the sky (I was around then but don't remember it).

I can clearly recall September 11th and it still gives me chills. I had gotten up early and went to the gym to workout and my roomie Nancy and I had planned 'room-mate bonding' morning, it was going to become our weekly ritual of breakfast together off-campus. We went to a local coffee shop around 8am and I remember the radio was playing in the background and waitress mentioned something about a plane crash into the World Trade Center. I remember thinking, hmm maybe a small jet crashed into the Boston WTC, hope everyone is ok. When we left we put the radio on WEII 1030am because I figured the regular FM stations weren't carrying this small event.

As Nancy and I drove the short distance back to campus we heard them narrate the situation and that's when we heard it was the NYC WTC and it was a passenger jet. I remember holding hands with Nancy as they said it was likely a terrorist attack. We were gripped with fear, and I remember praying for all involved. I remember the knot in my stomach and the panic I felt.

We rushed into our dorm when mostly everyone was sleeping and wake our roomates up and we flipped on the news just in time to witness the second plane crash. We stood there in shock and were glued to the TV as the rest of the events of the day unfolded. I tried to call family and friends but the cell phones weren't working.

I did talk to my mom who tried to keep me calm and she was reassuring me we were safe. I didn't feel safe. At all. I was terrified. Where was safe when planes could hit buildings and kill people? What if they flew a plane into the power plant?

Classes were cancelled, which gave us all more time to sit glued to the TV. By mid-afternoon I decided to walk the campus and find a spot to read and pray. It was so ironic that it was a perfectly beautiful, clear and sunny day. Perfect in everyway.

By later that afternoon I found myself standing in chapel, singing, praying and crying with friends. Here stories of friend's parents that were safe even after coming out the WTC. Planning to give blood or go there and help with the clean up.

By the evening, I looked up in the sky and saw only a few faint stars, no airplanes. It was eerily quiet because usually lots of planes take off and land nearby.

The days and weeks that passed after that felt surreal. It was hard not to watch the news expecting to hear worse news.

I remember feeling creeped out knowing the terrorists were in Boston the Sunday before. I was going to Park Street Church and took the train and subway in. I remember feeling weirded out that week for some reason. The following week at church, I mourned with our congregation as there were lives lost from church on those flights.

Even though its been 10 years and we have not had another attack of that magnitude. We are still at war. Our world is in turmoil. I feel as a nation we are gun-shy and that our sense of security is still shaken. At least I don't feel 'secure and safe'.

Tomorrow, we will mourn in our hearts for the lives lost on that day, remember personal stories and think just about how close some of us may have come to being on one of those planes or in one of those buildings. I know I still think about it every time I board a plane.

Tomorrow, though, we will celebrate a very dear friend's son's first birthday. We will find joy in the celebration of life. We will, at least I will hug my little one just alittle tighter tomorrow and hope she will NEVER witness a tragedy of this magnitude. I will however, help her to NEVER FORGET and be PROUD to be an American.
xo