For Sale... ready or not?

Its no secret living on one income is practically impossible in this day and age. With much of the responsibility of paying for college, weddings, first home and all, its just not easy to make ends meet. Add extra years of college for grad school for both of us and it really adds up.

Of course other generations could say that our generation is an instant gratification generation with our credit cards, loans for practically everything and the ease of buying a home on a very small down payment. Yea, we are live now, pay later generation.

Is that ok?

No, not for me and that is something I have struggled with a lot as a Christian. I feel like I am called to live responsibily and not stock up on material things just to keep up with society.

Ok, enough of the soap box on my view on our generations’ overspending. I could go on and on.

But here I am.
Faced with a huge decision that J and I have prayerfully considered over the last several months.

We put our house on the market.

(insert sigh)
Here is the good:
•We have a chance to move back home and makes us mobile for job changes/transfers
•We will literally be living in the same neighborhood as my parents and J’s for now
•We will be very near other relatives including Isabel’s aunts and uncle
•We have several daycare/childcare options so I can work part time and afford it
•We will be able to reconnect with our home church
•J’s commute will be cut by a 3rd
•We might even get a date night once in a while!
•We can rekindle some friendships and make new ones including new mom’s groups etc.

Here is the not so good:
•Our house could be on the market for months or even a year
•We will have to keep the house in shape for showings (hard to do with a toddler)
•I will miss our neighbors dearly and the friends I have made here
•I don’t want to but will probably have to change Isabel’s pediatrician (huge sigh) and our vet (another huge sigh) and my ob/gynecologist (probably not a bad thing)

Those are the major pros and cons at this point. So why do I feel so torn?

Home Sweet HomeThis is where J and I started our life together as a married couple. We adopted our dogs, brought Isabel home to this house and have made it our home. Well, I think I feel like this more than J. More so lately, but J literally just sleeps here during the week and we drive back and forth on the weekends a lot to see family so when can he enjoy it? We hardly entertain like we used to or spend time here on weekends. I, on the other hand spend a lot of time here, its near campus and stayed home with Isabel for a year. So maybe I feel a bit more attached?

Sure there are lots of times when I wished I lived closer to home, when we/I am sick, when J works late, when its winter, when its summer for that matter and when it’s the holidays….. so hmmmm when do I like living here?

Well, I love our house, the yard, my garden, my neighborhood.

I wished and have tried to be more involved in the community but where I am almost done at school, my friends are dwindling and moving too. Our involvement at church has changed too since having Isabel and its tough to stay connected.

Still, when the realtor nailed the sign into our yard yesterday, I felt a pang of sadness. Maybe it was because it was a beautiful fall day (I love summery fall days here its my favorite time of year). And maybe its because now the real work begins with putting it on the market. Either way it felt BIG. SAD and bittersweet.

J and I spend a long time coming to this decision and you know how at first its exciting but then you actually have to follow through and that’s the hard part? Well,when J and I finally agreed it was time to do this, we were just coming back from our vacation and both feeling overwhelmed by our house, my lack of job prospects, Isabel in daycare and just the stress of making this all work long term. My PTSD is another big factor, its still a big part of my life and it affects everything including working and sleeping and all that. So, we had some perspective having been away.

Now, we are in the trenches and its hard to see the end goal that we were so excited about it.

I do know that in a year or so I will look back and wonder why I worried so much and feel like we made a great decision and God blessed it. In the mean time I feel torn and am searching and praying for some reassurance as we go through it.

Here is what I do know, our home is where J and Isabel are (and Ladybug and Liam).