To the crib

So Isabel has never been a great sleeper, shocking I knoW?!

We have done a combo of co-sleeping, bedsharing and crib sleeping. And we have adapted as time goes on and she develops more and is able to soothe a bit better.

Well, this weekend I decided it was time for her to nap and start off the night in her crib. She's crawling and sleeping on our bed wasn't safe no matter what combo I tried. The last straw was her sleeping in her sidecar (her crib attached to the bed) and me sitting in the rocker nearby only to look up in the darkness from my laptop to see she woke up and was half way across the bed...talk about silent, sneaky crawling aka steath crawling!

So this weekend J put the side back on and I said many heartfelt prayers this would happen and easily with the fewest of tears!

Last night was a FAIL, I nursed her to sleep on our bed with the intention of moving her once she was asleep. Cut to me waking up at midnight with a baby nestled next to me.

So, needless to say she stayed with us last night.

This afternoon I tried again and this time I stayed awake...ha ha ha. After about 10 minutes I gently picked her up and laid her in her crib and snuck away... so far so good!

Her crib will probably stay in our room until the end of summer one because we have A/C and two because I want to work on night weaning and get her used to crib sleeping and then put her in her room.

Never would I have thought that I would have a 9 month old baby still sleeping in our room.

Does that make me a weak parent? I struggle with self doubt over her sleep issues but in the end I have decided that I am doing the right thing. Others have and do judge me for how we have dealt with this issue. I am sure it LOOKS like the easy way out. I will tell you its not. I do miss reading before bed or watching a movie with J before bed. However, I do love waking up and seeing her smiling sweet face. I feel like this experience has bonded us and made us closer as a little family.

Hey, if we let our dogs sleep with us why not a baby?! I knew it wouldn't be forever. Even the dogs have stopped sleeping with us. So everything has a phase right?!

Many have said I should just CIO, honestly no mom loves this idea but I will admit I have tried it. I was consistent and everything. I didn't let her cry too long but in the end I found she was hysterical, she wasn't self soothing, she wasn't learning how to self soothe and she was just a miserable mess.

In the end, I wanted her to trust me, feel reassured I would come when called and her needs would be met. This I feel has been accomplished. She is just coming out of her first round of seperation anxiety and I think that the approach I took was right for her. She is seperating from me much easier and going to relatives easier. She is sleeping better for the most part and without me or the boob.

Not that I want to congratulate myself but I feel like these little milestones can't be over looked. She excels in so many ways but the sleep has been our hurdle. Every baby has one. Whether its nursing/latching, eating solids, gaining weight or lack thereof, or sleep. Babies are people and they are individuals bottom line.

So, I am relishing my time as she sleeps and not taking it for granted :)