Tea and cookies

The other night I was talking to my sister about possibly staying with her with Isabel of course while J goes away on business (not something I looked forward to before Isabel and NO happier about it now).

Isabel and I stayed with my sister and BIL if you recall when Isabel was only a few weeks old as I recovered from my c-section infection. Those days felt very dark in so many ways. I was very sick, medicated on antibiotics that really made me feel terrible and I was in terrible pain and trying to get the hang of motherhood all at the same time.

However, there were definetly bright spots...ok major BRIGHT SPOT: my darling amazing Isabel was doing really well, albeit she was a fussbudget but amazing nonetheless.

Other bright spots? Well they all involve family:

• Jessica made chocolate chip cookies, which I LOVE and would make for her if she were staying with me and we would eat them each night while Isable took turns sleeping on us. I would drink my lactation tea and we'd enjoy a quiet moment watching Food Network before I would trudge off to bed knowing Isabel would be up again soon.
• My brother in law Scott would sing to Isabel a sweet little song his parents sang to him to settle Isabel, he had excellent patience for Isabel's crying
• Jolene would take turns with Jess and Scott taking me to my appointments. We had some really deep conversations about life, we were team Sister when it came to handling the baby and my apts. We enjoyed our little trips equally I think. We ate in the cafeteria and enjoyed some yummy ham salad ;)
• Speaking of the cafeteria, anyone that would help me at my appointments would go to lunch with me after and I just felt safe there and calmed by that place, it was comforting for some reason
• J got me an amazing Edible Arrangement something I craved after having GD
• My cousin Maryann was errand extraordinaire...bringing me whatever I needed whenever I needed it, I wish I could be more like her, she's got a serious Servant's heart
• Despite it being hectic my aunt came to help out and it was so wonderful to reconnect with her, makes me miss her more now!

Why am I reminiscing? I am not sure.....In a way I guess its good that I am starting to find bright spots in what at the time felt pretty scary, overwhelming and fast paced. I think all that happened is sinking and I am processing it more. I think I am only able to cope with the gravity of the situation by accentuating the positive. I keep reminding myself I am healed, I have a beautiful daughter, a supportive set of sisters, husband, mom and closer relationship to my brother in law, cousin and aunt.

*sigh* I obviously don't want to go back to those days but I do miss my sisters and mom especially these days. They tromped through the muck of hard times with me when Isabel was a newborn and I was sick and I feel like they are missing the 'fun' stuff. Sometimes, I wish I didn't live so far away. I really love where I live and J and I feel settled here but closer would be nice. At the same time everyone works except for me so even if I was closer would everyone see her more? I am not sure.

I do however sometimes find myself wishing I could have sister/mom sleep overs with Isabel. I think the thought is comforting because I felt so supported during that time by them. In reality sleepovers would be hard logistically but doable once in a while. Not to mention that I am married to a sweet guy that I don't want to leave out of course. I guess its just nice to know that my family is there for me when I need them!

So if J does travel, then we might get to have a sleep over and they can enjoy the sweet, fun and more predictable Isabel while we eat our tea and cookies :)