Wide open spaces

Whenever I hear that song by the Dixie Chicks it reminds me of the feelings I had when I just graduated college and was starting a new life in FL for grad school.

Everytime I hear it now it makes me feel nostalgic for the the time when I felt optimistic and had so much to look forward to. Obviously, grad school and living that far from home was a challenge for me but this song became sort of my battle cry.

I feel like I changed alot through the experience of living on my own and in a new place. I grew and succeeded. And since graduating 4 years ago, I have taken on more challenges. Teaching at the college level in 2 colleges. Starting a PhD. and making it through qualifiers! Getting married, buying a house, and adopting not one but two dogs!

Though I have accomplished alot since that song was my battle cry, I feel like the challenges since then pale in comparison to packing up 2 suitcases and moving to FL by myself and living/going to school for 3 years on my own. Kind of makes me miss it but at the same time glad it is over.

Now I wouldn't say life is easier but it feels less exciting to a degree, more predictable. I guess thats a good thing. Life in flux is fun for a while but also very stressful. I think I feel now that I need a new challenge. It might seem like I have enough challenge in my life finishing my PhD. etc. but I think many 'balls in the air' and 'wide open spaces'.

I have started to feel much more like myself. I saw my doctor yesterday and after crying on the way there expecting bad news. She was optimistic and comforting and lot nicer than I thought she would be. The stitches are gone and I already feel better. So come what may but I feel much more optimistic and ready for a new day.