Back to church

This morning we concured going back to church. It has been a LONG 4 months since we were there. I was sad we missed advent season and yet I had felt trepidation about going....

Would I be able to handle her fussing? What if she made a scene? What if she pooped an outfit? What if I needed to nurse her? Would I be able to pay attention?

I certainly didn't want to be one of THOSE parents (caps that because now that I am a parent I laugh at all the things that used to annoying me when I would watch other parents in public try to manage their kids).

We originally planned to attend the baptism class at 8am, which was going to be a push because thats when Isabel is either napping or just getting up. J and I decided that we would hold off on the class but go to the 9:45 service. J got up early in case we were going to the 8am but he looked wiped so I sent him to bed while I got Isabel ready.

Honestly, she was happy to swing in her swing so I made dessert for small group and sauce for dinner. I even managed to pump in case the mother's room was busy or I felt uncomfortable in there.

We managed to get out the door by 9:30 and found a spot in the New Mom/Expectant Mother's spot (thank goodness for those). We walked in just as the service started and nice folks moved in for us to sit on the end.

The worship music was playing and as I scooped Isabel out of the carrier Amazing Grace started to play. *gulp* this song gets me everytime for different reasons. It brings back memories of singing at Gordon, loved ones who have passed and of times when I have felt down, this song really enourages me.

Today, it brought me back to this summer. Standing in the pew, feet swollen, belly bulging and Isabel kicking from the inside. What an awesome feeling to be holding our baby girl, singing this song and rocking her in my arms. As I looked up at the worship team I could see adoring eyes gazing on Isabel. It makes this momma's heart swell thats for sure!

After the music and prayers and start of the sermon Isabel got antsy so I took her out, bottle in hand. After pacing around in the foyer with her for a bit I got the nerve to go into the mother's room. I don't know why I was worried about it. I guess I wasn't sure what to expect, if it would be cramped or something.

To my delight the room was awesome! It had rockers and stools and a bathroom with a changing station. The sermon was piped in and we can see the service through a window with a thin curtain. Hmmmmm....maybe I will stay in here for all the services :)

As I sat there with Isabel, she nursed her self to sleep and I was able to focus on the sermon. It was refreshing to hear it and to be able to be comfortable with Isabel in my arms. The only thing that would make it better was if J could be there with me. Other moms with their babies were in there so I wasn't alone at least. This boosts my confidence and desire to keep going to church. It feels managable and its what I have missed for so long.

I had wondered if we were missed and soon after the service two wonderful women came up to greet me and I felt so glad to see them. We want to join this church and were struggling to feel connected. It was just a little thing but just a warm greeting makes me feel more welcome and willing to join.