Ready or not?

I go back and forth about feeling ready and then not at the same time. Switching back to work mode, I am a doer, a planner, a list maker.

I have found that pregnancy takes all the ability to plan away. I can barely think past the end of the day most of the time, thinking about the following week is a challenge and the next month?! Forget it!

I guess the perspective I have now is that not much is in MY control. God has taught me this in other life experiences but He is driving it home now.

I never cease to be amazed at how just when I think I have it under control, I really don't. Especially with work. I might wake up in the morning ready to go, clear head and lots of energy. Then I get ready, fight with my clothes to get them on, pack a lunch, take the dogs out, trudge to the car and walk to my office (1/2mi), I am honestly done for the day before I even start.

Ok...this is starting to sound whiney and its not meant to, I just mean to point out how I use to take all these things for granted, like having energy. Now I just find myself sitting down longer between activities and loss of interest in doing things that require standing...even *gasp* cooking!!!!!!

But, its temporary and all worth it 100%.

I guess I feel a little dissapointed that its getting hard to get my work done as efficiently as I want to because I am tired and my hands are falling asleep as I type.

I know my dissertation will get written and that though I feel like progress is slow, it will come together.

So these next few weeks are going to be interesting because my sense of control is gone and the baby will come when she is ready...so they say :) In the mean time, I am working as much as I can....it may be slow but its getting done!!