Amazingly,7 out of 10 of my friends have had c-sections within the last year. Thats not including me.
I guess given what I went through during my c-section I would like to avoid another c-section and the risk it could happen again.
I am not saying I would risk my baby's health just so I could have a simpler delivery, no way.
But I guess I have been thinking alot about it lately. Actually, the events around Isabel's birth keep coming back to me in the last few days.
It could be because my last 3 friends that had babies delivered via c-section and knowing what I know now about the risks, I am concerned for them and their recovery.
Its not like they are handing out c-sections like its the soup du jour. Nor do I think it reflects on the mama delivering (they are a mama no matter how the baby is born in my book). I think today, there is alot more doctors know about the baby's health leading up to delivery and there is less chance of risk to the baby during delivery because c-sections can be done.
In the end its about their health as much as the mom's. Its nice to think that all births end in a vaginal delivery and yet no matter how hard all 7 of us tried it just wasn't going to happen. Does that mean in the 'olden days' these babies/mommas would have died in childbirth?
Possibly...scary thought.
Are doctors more like to take the c-section risk over the loss of baby and a law suit
Definetly.
Replaying the events in my head, I would lying if I didn't feel alot of 'if onlys'. Like if only I didn't get chorioamnitis when I was in labor or 'if only I waited in the epidural so I could stand up and make her descend faster' or 'if only I pushed harder in the 25m they gave me (now I know its a dream to think I would have pushed her out sunny side up and all but still).
Is it worth looking back and wishing it were different? Probably not.
Why does my brain keep replaying my experience even when the c-sections aren't happening to me?
I have been told its because my subconscience doesn't know fact from fiction and thinks its still happening to me.
Ugh, I say, Ugh.
I feel like if I could have a second baby, a v-bac would be my first choice. However, I know even if I want to have it, it may not work a second time.
Isabel was sunny side up so even if I didn't have the infection she was getting stuck on my pelvis. Also, she wasn't huge (8lbs) but if she were smaller she may have fit through faster...who knows.
I am a candidate at my hospital if there is at least 9mo. between births (there definelty will be because I am not pregnant now ;)
I mean it would be harder if I went through labor and still had a c-section like with Isabel but at least I would get the chance to try it again without the infection(s).
I guess it helps to know I have options at least.
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Down time with the H
Its hard to come by these days, not gonna lie.
Balancing, work, home, and baby is harder than I think other couples let on. But most 2nd and 3rd time parents give the knowing nod when I say its hard to get 'us' time anymore.
Its not that I lived in a bubble fantasy land thinking that the baby would sleep for hours and we would have tons of uninterupted cuddle time but here is how our beautiful daughter has changed things.
One of us usually goes to bed when she does, mostly do to the long work day/baby care all day tiredness. On the rare night we both stay up, I am usually on my computer in front of the TV working or catching up on life via Facebook, my blog, email etc. And J, is usually passed out within 30-45m on the couch.
Its ok because, thats sort of my 'me' time most days and just having J up and not in bed is nice. There are some nights (we can't plan it usually but we do get to stay up and watch a movie or something together which is nice and I wish we could do this more often).
Dinners...heck meals together are a challenge to eat solo....although with Isabel taking solids, I can stick her in her high chair and she will most of the time eat with us, unless its after 7pm and then she's winding down for bed.
Working in the yard was one of our favorite things to do together and now one of us juggles her, she's either napping so one of us is inside or she needs to be played with, which now that its nice out she can sit on a blanket and play while one of us works.
Mornings are different too, we used to get up and get going, now one of us usually J, gets up with her and plays with her while I catch a few more zzz's or have my COFFEE, which is needed desperatly! On the weekends they usually take her nap together which is sweet and frees me up to get stuff done.
Its amazing what I can do in 30m around the house when its all the free time I get! I can clean the kitchen, do a load of laundry, feed the dogs and or make a meal...go me ;)
This may sound complainy, its not mean to. Actually, its just amazing how a little girl can change our lives so completely, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
I do wish we got more us time where J wasn't so tired and we could actually maybe go out...*gasp* when was the last time I was out at night especially without Isabel? Ummmmm not since her birth ;)
Anyway, I think I need to hit up the Aunties for some babysitting...just wish sometimes we didn't live just that far away such that night baby sitting is too hard.
Ah yes, I hear my 'children' stirring from their nap so I am off to check on them and hop in the shower before its too late!
Balancing, work, home, and baby is harder than I think other couples let on. But most 2nd and 3rd time parents give the knowing nod when I say its hard to get 'us' time anymore.
Its not that I lived in a bubble fantasy land thinking that the baby would sleep for hours and we would have tons of uninterupted cuddle time but here is how our beautiful daughter has changed things.
One of us usually goes to bed when she does, mostly do to the long work day/baby care all day tiredness. On the rare night we both stay up, I am usually on my computer in front of the TV working or catching up on life via Facebook, my blog, email etc. And J, is usually passed out within 30-45m on the couch.
Its ok because, thats sort of my 'me' time most days and just having J up and not in bed is nice. There are some nights (we can't plan it usually but we do get to stay up and watch a movie or something together which is nice and I wish we could do this more often).
Dinners...heck meals together are a challenge to eat solo....although with Isabel taking solids, I can stick her in her high chair and she will most of the time eat with us, unless its after 7pm and then she's winding down for bed.
Working in the yard was one of our favorite things to do together and now one of us juggles her, she's either napping so one of us is inside or she needs to be played with, which now that its nice out she can sit on a blanket and play while one of us works.
Mornings are different too, we used to get up and get going, now one of us usually J, gets up with her and plays with her while I catch a few more zzz's or have my COFFEE, which is needed desperatly! On the weekends they usually take her nap together which is sweet and frees me up to get stuff done.
Its amazing what I can do in 30m around the house when its all the free time I get! I can clean the kitchen, do a load of laundry, feed the dogs and or make a meal...go me ;)
This may sound complainy, its not mean to. Actually, its just amazing how a little girl can change our lives so completely, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
I do wish we got more us time where J wasn't so tired and we could actually maybe go out...*gasp* when was the last time I was out at night especially without Isabel? Ummmmm not since her birth ;)
Anyway, I think I need to hit up the Aunties for some babysitting...just wish sometimes we didn't live just that far away such that night baby sitting is too hard.
Ah yes, I hear my 'children' stirring from their nap so I am off to check on them and hop in the shower before its too late!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
What shall we do with the baby-o?
This little song is stuck in my head as it is Isabel's new favorite song we sing. We are fortunate that we were able to do two sessions of Kindermusik starting in January with a wonderful and talented woman, Miss Jody.
At first, I will be honest, I was thinking music for a 4 month old? Really? How much can she absorb from this?
It was at 9am in a town 25m away in January?!
Well, my gung ho group of mom friends were up for it and they lived further away than me so we all gave it a go.
At first, I thought that it wasn't going to be all that exciting for Isabel and we were given the CD with the music so it felt like alot of money for a CD I could just use at home.
Well, I was wrong.
The best parts of class were this:
-Continuity, we went every Wednesday and it soon became routine
-We played the CD in the car and I would pick songs (there were like 32+ songs so I thankfully had choices) and sing to her in the car, at home, to distract her from crying.
-Soon she would recognize the songs and light up and when J would start singing them she would light up and it was like she was thinking 'Hey he knows them too?!'
-Miss Jody introduced signing in class, she has been introduced to 'more', 'thank you', 'music', 'ball' 'all done','mommy', and 'daddy'.
-After class we started a tradition of going to Panera, which has evolved from us mom getting coffee and chatting while the babies Bf'd or slept to us putting them in high chairs with solids and us trying to get a bit in for ourselves ;) (still fun)
Of course there were drawbacks:
- She's missed class from being sick and she's likely been exposed to germs through class (I know we are lucky with only 2 big illnesses so far)
-Sometimes class felt repetitive or Isabel was tired because for a while she was in a napping at 9am phase
Over all though I am amazed at how much she absorbed from the class. Just how much she has developed from not being able to sit to sitting and reaching and almost crawling now!
She would listen with rapt attention (as do the other babies) to Miss Jody. Isabel would anticipate the music and learned to roll a ball, tap two objects together, pat the floor and play peekaboo.
Today, music class ended for the school year and there is a summer session I think we will do it will be in 2 months so we are done for a while. I felt alittle sad we were done today. Isabel has absorbed so much. I can see it at home. The way she lights up when we sing the songs from class, or she will clap, tap or roll the ball. Its just amazing! She is copy catting now too and it makes everything more fun.
I am so glad we did this class even though at first it was hard dragging a sometimes fussy, 4 month old out in the middle of winter in the morning no less to class. It was always better once we were out anyway.
Plus, I had my mom friends to help me out. I also got over breastfeeding in public through this too, pumping was too hard in the morning so we just nursed on the go. It was quite liberating.
Anyway, I am glad we go to have this experience because I feel like I learned alot about how to interact with her in an age approriate way. I have learned what she is capable of and I have watched her develop and grow!
So fun! I am just loving these moments. Precious moments in time. I can't help but gush!
One other funny story: This week I was pumping gas (something I usually avoid with her b/c she hates being the car for long anyway). Well, I guess I hit it just right because I played peekaboo with her in her car seat. The windows were up because of the rain but I could see her little body bouncing as she giggled with glee as we played. What a fun interaction, I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!
So here's to you my FINALLY sleeping baby!
"What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o if she won't go to sleepy-o?
Wrap her up in calico, Wrap her up in calico, Wrap her up in calico and send her to her daddy-o.
"What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o if she won't go to sleepy-o?
'Wiggle her chin and tickle her toes, 'Wiggle her chin and tickle her toes,'Wiggle her chin and tickle her toes, Dress her up in silly clothes.
"What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o if she won't go to sleepy-o?
"Fold her up in a tableclothe, "Fold her up in a tableclothe, "Fold her up in a tableclothe, Send her up to the old hay loft.
"What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o? What shall we do with the baby-o if she won't go to sleepy-o?
"Swing her north and swing her south, "Swing her north and swing her south, "Swing her north and swing her south, Put alittle honey in her mouth!
Friday, May 20, 2011
I miss her
This morning I woke up to a smiling little face, it was if her double ear infection dissappeared...not only did she wake up in a good mood but she woke up late AND is now down for a nap! Woof, its a relief thats she's feeling so much better!
Today marks two years since my Nonna passed away. That day is seared in my mind forever, getting the news from my sister while I sat on the front steps of my house and cried. Shortly after it sank in I rushed to write a blog post that would capture my Nonna . I wasn't trying to capture my feelings of grief but of the love and cherished memories of her. While they were fresh in case they faded.
I am glad I wrote that post as we used part of it for her eulogy. But the memories and cherished moments have not dulled or faded.
She lives in my hear everyday.
One tangible way is by her name. Isabel or Isabella or 'sabella as those close to her would call her.
We chose the name Isabel as a tribute to her and though I wish she could have known when she was alive I was planning to do this, I know she is honored just the same.
Every time I look at my Isabel, I see my Nonna. Not just because her name reminds me of her but she has my Nonna's lips.
I know it sounds crazy but my dad pointed this out. She has a little white 'divit' I am not sure what its called but its on her bottom lip and its the same as Nonna's.
No one else in my family has it but now Isabel does. How special is that?
THis time last year I was feeling so sad that Isabel wasn't born sooner so that Nonna could meet her. But now that Isabel is here, I feel like Nonna is living on through her and in our hearts.
I know she would be so proud of her, she would call her 'booba bella' or however its spelled. She would sing to her in Italian and have fun feeding her noodles with sauce and pinching her cheeks.
She made not be here to do it in person but we all are. Its been so amazing to see how my family have picked up these little things and do them. Especially my dad. Its the sweetest and makes my heart melt to see how much he loves her.
No one can replace my Nonna and yet alittle bit of her is living inside all that knew and loved her.
We will carry on her legacy, her traditions and her loving ways. I can still hear her voice, see her face and feel her love in my heart.
She was a loving, kind, wise and talented lady that had a big heart and lots of love. She wouldn't want us to be sad for her and mourn so long but its hard not to when she was just such a special lady we all feel that deep sense of loss still.
So, I know I will always miss her and wish she were here I know that she still is.
I am honoring her memory in little ways:
Sowing basil seeds in the spring
Teaching Isabel how to make sauce, meatballs and pizza
Feeding her these things too ;)
I sing little songs to her
I tell her all about Nonna and show her pictures
These are little things but its special just the same. If I look around at all the people that loved her especially my dad and sisters, I can see how she affected them and how she influenced each of them.
She would always say 'I am just a lil' old lady' and I would say 'But you are the best, you are my Nonna' and she would smile that warm smile that even shown in her eyes.
We love you Nonna, we miss you and your 'lil Isabel' will grow up knowing all about you, I promise!
xoxoxo
Today marks two years since my Nonna passed away. That day is seared in my mind forever, getting the news from my sister while I sat on the front steps of my house and cried. Shortly after it sank in I rushed to write a blog post that would capture my Nonna . I wasn't trying to capture my feelings of grief but of the love and cherished memories of her. While they were fresh in case they faded.
I am glad I wrote that post as we used part of it for her eulogy. But the memories and cherished moments have not dulled or faded.
She lives in my hear everyday.
One tangible way is by her name. Isabel or Isabella or 'sabella as those close to her would call her.
We chose the name Isabel as a tribute to her and though I wish she could have known when she was alive I was planning to do this, I know she is honored just the same.
Every time I look at my Isabel, I see my Nonna. Not just because her name reminds me of her but she has my Nonna's lips.
I know it sounds crazy but my dad pointed this out. She has a little white 'divit' I am not sure what its called but its on her bottom lip and its the same as Nonna's.
No one else in my family has it but now Isabel does. How special is that?
THis time last year I was feeling so sad that Isabel wasn't born sooner so that Nonna could meet her. But now that Isabel is here, I feel like Nonna is living on through her and in our hearts.
I know she would be so proud of her, she would call her 'booba bella' or however its spelled. She would sing to her in Italian and have fun feeding her noodles with sauce and pinching her cheeks.
She made not be here to do it in person but we all are. Its been so amazing to see how my family have picked up these little things and do them. Especially my dad. Its the sweetest and makes my heart melt to see how much he loves her.
No one can replace my Nonna and yet alittle bit of her is living inside all that knew and loved her.
We will carry on her legacy, her traditions and her loving ways. I can still hear her voice, see her face and feel her love in my heart.
She was a loving, kind, wise and talented lady that had a big heart and lots of love. She wouldn't want us to be sad for her and mourn so long but its hard not to when she was just such a special lady we all feel that deep sense of loss still.
So, I know I will always miss her and wish she were here I know that she still is.
I am honoring her memory in little ways:
Sowing basil seeds in the spring
Teaching Isabel how to make sauce, meatballs and pizza
Feeding her these things too ;)
I sing little songs to her
I tell her all about Nonna and show her pictures
These are little things but its special just the same. If I look around at all the people that loved her especially my dad and sisters, I can see how she affected them and how she influenced each of them.
She would always say 'I am just a lil' old lady' and I would say 'But you are the best, you are my Nonna' and she would smile that warm smile that even shown in her eyes.
We love you Nonna, we miss you and your 'lil Isabel' will grow up knowing all about you, I promise!
xoxoxo
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Eight Months
Wow, I have an eight month old.
For some reason that sounds old to me!
Too bad we spent her 8 month birthday sickie and miserable!
However, it makes me reflect on just how far was have come and just what she can do now!
How has she changed?
Her hair is turning blonder and thicker and curls at the ends!
Her eyes are turning hazel...maybe brown in the end?
What can she do?
She can copycat: she watches and mimics, sucking noises, tsk tsk and she can pat her mouth with her hand and make noise like oh-oh-oh its hilarious! Gonna try to catch that on the Flip! She also babbles constantly and says mamamamama, rararara (dadada-ish) and uhoh!
She can:
roll over and over in each direction
scoot her body in a circle
push up to rock on all 4s but no crawling yet
jumps like a pro in her jumperoo
push backward in her walker
What does she eat?
Anything in her teether bag and she loves to self feed
peaches, apples, pears, squash, sweet potato, oatmeal are her faves
rice cereal, chicken, turkey, yogurt, peas and green beans make her gag! And I thought I wouldn't have a picky baby!
Really doesn't seem possible that 8 months have gone by! But seeing the flowering trees budded and grass turning grean and the lilacs about to bloom I guess it is spring. In a way it is hard for me to deal with this season change. Mostly because it reminds me of the fall and how hard that time was.
So even though Isabel is thriving and I am physically healed, I am still healing emotionally. Each month that goes by it gets easier and I am thankful for me life, my baby, my husband and my loving family.
Now if we can just kick Isabel's double ear infection, that would be great because a sickie baby is no fun at all!
So, on to another fun month of watching you grow and change we go! Onward I say! I love you my dear one, just don't grow up too fast! I will be right there though, taking in each moment and loving you. What a special honor it is to be a mama, your mama! Its the best!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Ten minutes at a time
So yesterday I hit a low point while in the doctor's office. Isabel was feverish and miserable, I had to wake her up from a nap to get to my apt. and I just felt horrible too.
My doctor was trying to give me a nebulizer treatment for my bronchitis and I was holding Isabel, who was screaming her head off because the noise was scaring her.
I turned off the machine and stepped out into the hall and just said I needed to go. My doctor was sweet about it but seriously, I felt like a terrible mom. I know I wasn't and I needed to take care of myself but seriously, it felt like a scene.
We get home after stopping at the drug store for meds and her eyes are goopy and green, she's gagging on mucus, I am coughing my head off and I am alone.
I manage to get meds into her, lay her down to nurse and call the on-call dr. to make sure the gagging is ok.
J is at work which feels like a zillion miles away, he is sick as a dog too. I am not sure why I thought him being home would help because all Isabel wanted was her mama. Her mama albeit sick just wanted to help her baby.
In the middle of it all, I call my mom who reminds me of this one good point:
"Take it 10 minutes at a time, if you can get through 10 minutes, you can get through it all."
It sounded simple but as we talked and I watched Isabel drifting off to sleep, 10 minutes passed and it felt more doable.
The nurse called back and said the gagging was mucus related and warned she might throw up if she hadn't already.
Glad she warned me because J walked in the door shortly thereafter to see me with a rosy cheeked, goopey eye'd, snotty nosed, sickie baby that gagged as he walked in the door and puked milk projectile over my shoulder.
I shrugged and just bent down and wiped it up.
J, was probably a bit shocked at the scene he was walking into.
When he left in the morning, Isabel was just feverish with sniffles.
Now she had morphed into a barely recognizable version of herself and I don't think he realized what I had been through all day.
Anyway, we gave her a bath, got her to bed and tried to catch our breath.
Usually, when she is sick I say I wish it were me, but now we are both sick and its not a winning combo. In fact, we are all sick and its kicking our butts!
God is good, He doesn't give us more than we can handle and we will come through it. He is giving me strength that is NOT my own. Somehow I am muddling through without sleep, sick myself and still making milk and caring for Isabel as usual.
Amazing.
If it was pre-baby I would probably be home on the couch feeling sorry and sick but instead I am sucking it up and taking care of the lil one like its just another day.
God definetly gives moms 'super strength' when we need it thats for sure.
I am not a SUPER mom but with God, I can do anything, even if its just 10 minutes at a time.
My doctor was trying to give me a nebulizer treatment for my bronchitis and I was holding Isabel, who was screaming her head off because the noise was scaring her.
I turned off the machine and stepped out into the hall and just said I needed to go. My doctor was sweet about it but seriously, I felt like a terrible mom. I know I wasn't and I needed to take care of myself but seriously, it felt like a scene.
We get home after stopping at the drug store for meds and her eyes are goopy and green, she's gagging on mucus, I am coughing my head off and I am alone.
I manage to get meds into her, lay her down to nurse and call the on-call dr. to make sure the gagging is ok.
J is at work which feels like a zillion miles away, he is sick as a dog too. I am not sure why I thought him being home would help because all Isabel wanted was her mama. Her mama albeit sick just wanted to help her baby.
In the middle of it all, I call my mom who reminds me of this one good point:
"Take it 10 minutes at a time, if you can get through 10 minutes, you can get through it all."
It sounded simple but as we talked and I watched Isabel drifting off to sleep, 10 minutes passed and it felt more doable.
The nurse called back and said the gagging was mucus related and warned she might throw up if she hadn't already.
Glad she warned me because J walked in the door shortly thereafter to see me with a rosy cheeked, goopey eye'd, snotty nosed, sickie baby that gagged as he walked in the door and puked milk projectile over my shoulder.
I shrugged and just bent down and wiped it up.
J, was probably a bit shocked at the scene he was walking into.
When he left in the morning, Isabel was just feverish with sniffles.
Now she had morphed into a barely recognizable version of herself and I don't think he realized what I had been through all day.
Anyway, we gave her a bath, got her to bed and tried to catch our breath.
Usually, when she is sick I say I wish it were me, but now we are both sick and its not a winning combo. In fact, we are all sick and its kicking our butts!
God is good, He doesn't give us more than we can handle and we will come through it. He is giving me strength that is NOT my own. Somehow I am muddling through without sleep, sick myself and still making milk and caring for Isabel as usual.
Amazing.
If it was pre-baby I would probably be home on the couch feeling sorry and sick but instead I am sucking it up and taking care of the lil one like its just another day.
God definetly gives moms 'super strength' when we need it thats for sure.
I am not a SUPER mom but with God, I can do anything, even if its just 10 minutes at a time.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Savoring the moments
I could spent this whole blog complaining about the fact that in addition to being tired from work and taking care of Isabel I have bronchitis and a sinus infection but I won't.
Colds and sickness happen....in this case NOT sharing would be caring ;) Its funny how J and I seem to get sick at the same time like we never have before. I sometimes refer to Isabel as our 'lil vector'! Tee hee some Bio humor!
Lately, I have been noticing just how much Isabel is changing. She will be 8 months this week! Wow.
She can pick up food with a pincer grip, she takes a paci to nap and nighttime, she babbles so much, her babbles sounds like a real conversation she is trying to have with me. She can rock on hands and knees and pull herself up and she's a rolling machine wonder how long it will be till she's truly mobile?
It seems like yesterday I was rocking her in the recliner day and night. Nursing and shhhhing and swaddling and nuzzling.
She is growing so fast and I feel like I can barely absorb it all.
One regret I do not have is that I put chores and errands on hold and was able to give her my undivided attention. As hard as it was NOT to do the dishes, cook, clean and run around, she needed me. Demanded me and only me most times.
Precious little else mattered.
Now she is becoming more independent, sitting and playing, jumping in her jumperoo, scooting in her walker and feeding herself little morsels of food in her high chair.
All of these milestones are so important albeit bittersweet. I want her to grow up healthy and strong and not held back at all. So I keep my 'mommy wants her baby to stay little forever' feelings aside and watch her blossom.
I came across this poem and it rang true for me:
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Colds and sickness happen....in this case NOT sharing would be caring ;) Its funny how J and I seem to get sick at the same time like we never have before. I sometimes refer to Isabel as our 'lil vector'! Tee hee some Bio humor!
Lately, I have been noticing just how much Isabel is changing. She will be 8 months this week! Wow.
She can pick up food with a pincer grip, she takes a paci to nap and nighttime, she babbles so much, her babbles sounds like a real conversation she is trying to have with me. She can rock on hands and knees and pull herself up and she's a rolling machine wonder how long it will be till she's truly mobile?
It seems like yesterday I was rocking her in the recliner day and night. Nursing and shhhhing and swaddling and nuzzling.
She is growing so fast and I feel like I can barely absorb it all.
One regret I do not have is that I put chores and errands on hold and was able to give her my undivided attention. As hard as it was NOT to do the dishes, cook, clean and run around, she needed me. Demanded me and only me most times.
Precious little else mattered.
Now she is becoming more independent, sitting and playing, jumping in her jumperoo, scooting in her walker and feeding herself little morsels of food in her high chair.
All of these milestones are so important albeit bittersweet. I want her to grow up healthy and strong and not held back at all. So I keep my 'mommy wants her baby to stay little forever' feelings aside and watch her blossom.
I came across this poem and it rang true for me:
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
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