To my Isabel

For weeks I have been composing a letter (first of many I am sure) about things I want her to know about how I feel now so she can reflect on them when she is older.

To my darling Isabel Ann,

First, you should know just how much I love you. I have been praying for you for half of a life time. You were a miracle from the very beginning when we found out you were going to arrive. I will never forget when I saw your heartbeating on the monitor, you were just alittle jelly bean and I could just see the flicker of your tiny little heart beating away. It was amazing and just awesome. When I felt you kick for the first time little flutters and then kicks like you meant it, it was just a comforting and amazing feeling. I relished taking you everywhere with me, everyday was take your daughter to work day. I talked to you on the way to and from work, sometimes I would even tear up thinking about your arrival. I told you that silly mommy was crying because she was so happy she was going to meet you, but looking back on those moments I didn't even know how much love and joy I was going to feel when I actually met you.

When you entered the world, it wasn't how any of us planned, but its how it was meant to be. There were lots of people in your family that were praying for you to arrive safely and for mommy too. Even your Nonna-Nonna Isabella was looking down on you, I know it. She would have been so proud to have held you but I know she was watching over us then and now. Whenever I say your name I think of her. She inspired me in so many ways and she was a great role model in my life. I miss her always and yet I know she would want me to remember the best parts of our relationship, the cooking, the eating, the playing at her house we did as kids. So, I will teach you all about her, we will cook together and I will even teach you Italian if you want!

As the days go by, (too fast ya know) you are changing. You are getting bigger, your voice is stronger, your cries louder and your smiles wider. As you develop and grow I will always be there for you. I will be your biggest champion, supporter and confidant.

I will teach you, nuture you, play made up games with you and let you explore your world. You can be anything you want to be.

I will teach you about God, your heavenly father. I will teach you to love others and to pray. Because Jesus loves all His children, especially you!

We will do fun things like plant seeds in the spring and watch them sprout in the summer, how to carve a pumpkin, pick apples and identify plants with your great grammy.

We will read books, make up stories with your great-grampy. Maybe he will even teach you some math or how to hammer a nail.

We will visit your aunties who will take you shopping, make you feel special and maybe even play Chutes and Ladders like we did with your great-auntie Ginny. Jolene will teach you about kitties (so will Jess). Scott and Jess will teach you how to make pizza for sure.

We will do little photo shoots with your grammy so we can remember all your little moments from tubby time to trying your first vegetables! She will teach you many things and read you lots of stories I am sure. She loves you so much you know.

Your grampy (Nonno) will teach you how to make sauce like Nonna Isabella. He will swing you up in the air because he is big and strong. He will make you laugh and always be happy to take you to the beach.

You will learn just how much your whole family loves you, because they already really do!

Your daddy and I will love you always forever and ever. We will always take care of you, provide for you and be good role models. We will give you the freedom to try new things and be there for you when you need us. We will take you on vacations and little weekend adventures. We will help you with your homework, go to your school plays and tuck you in at night. We will sing to you, cook for you, and take you for walks.

I am sure daddy has lots of plans to teach you how to drive a boat, rake leaves, do arithmetic, tie your shoes, throw the ball to the dogs and make even take you fishing!

In the end I want you to know you are loved. From the moment I first saw you bundled in your blanket, I knew you were mine and you started our little family. You inspired in me a fierce sense of mama bear, I just wanted to protect you, and I always will to the very end no matter what. Even though I was very sick in the beginning when you were so little, I would have and did anything I could for you. You inspire the best in me.

We are going to make a lot of new memories together, you are the reason I am here on this earth and I cherish the responsibility to be your mother. How awesome a resposiblity it is to be a mother. You trust me and depend on me for everything. I am thankful to our God for your life. That you are healthy, growing and that you are ours. He saved my life twice so I could be your mother today. We serve an awesome God and He loves you so much too.

You are my beautiful, special and sweet little girl, my little peanut, pumpkin pie and munchkin. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will do everything I can to be the mother you need me to be.

Love you always,

Mom