Saying goodbye

My great uncle Fred passed away this week, I just saw that side of my family a few weeks ago at my grandparent's 60th Anniversary party (yea 60 years imagine that!). My memories of Fred are from Christmas eve parties when I was kid and his gentle manner. He was always smiling and had a ready to laugh. He and my aunt were a good balance and they had 4 kids that though they were older than me, we always got along.

When I heard of his passing, I ran right out to get a condolensces card for my aunt. I wasn't sure I was going to make the service. Just picking out the card brought me back to sad feelings I had about losing my Nonna. That loss still feels so fresh in my heart. I actually teared up in the card aisle.

I did go up to the service for Fred a few days later, the church was beautiful and much of my family was gathered. I was struck by the finality of seeing the casket at the alter and the flag folded up next it to acknowledge service to our country.

As I am sitting there dwelling on the loss of Fred and the loss the family is feeling I found myself reflecting on my Nonna. The hymns were different and yet the sentiment was the same. It really struck me when the minister actually acknowledged that times like this can cause us to mourn again for the losses we have felt previous to the one we are acknowledging now.

So true for me.

After the service we gathered for a reception and I caught up with family. The mood was pretty light, there were kids running around and that always lightens things. Even Fred's son said Fred would have wanted us to 'get on with it' and enjoy the day.

Even at his grave, it was hard not to enjoy the surroundings, the ocean nearby and 100 year old trees dotting the massive cemetery. The minister also acknowledged that though we think of cemetaries as a place that represents death, it in many ways is full of life. It was not hard to see all of the trees, the flowers, the grass and folks walking threw on their lunch hour.

Still, it was somber for us as we laid Fred to rest. The military was there and taps was played. There wasn't a dry eye. For Fred, for our country as we are at war and my thoughts about my own grandpa. He served too and I shudder thinking about the day we will have to say goodbye to him.

It is never easy to let a loved one go. God reminded me though that even though in our hearts we grieve for those we feel we lose in this life to death, if they knew Him we will be reunited one day. We can't understand God's timing and why He decides to call one of His own home. We can only feel comforted that God has a plan for Fred, for me and for you, if we are faithful it will be revealed to us. Realizing this helped me not miss Nonna as much and deal with the loss of uncle Fred.

Aftwards it was so nice to get to spend time with family I don't see that often. I also got some quality time with my mom. It isn't often we get time together without other family or Josh and sometimes its nice. We ended up going shopping after (of course). Felt good, but bittersweet. It made me miss the times we got to spend shopping and hanging out in years past. She really is the best shopper! Sorry to anyone else but I would pick her as my shopping buddy hands down!

However, I don't shop with her often because I always spend too much!

Rest in Peace Fred, you will be missed but not forgotten.