Just Breathe

I think I mentioned that I found a lump on Ladybug over vacation. This week we proceeded with having it removed right away. Everyone at the vet has been really supportive and I think we are going in the right direction.

Yesterday she went in to have the lump removed and I waited with baited breath.

Liam was kind of beside himself without her but he calmed down. Isabel and I enjoyed a 1st birthday party at a park in Portsmouth and made the best of the day.

I got the phone call from the vet saying she was ok but she was going to rest for 2 weeks. I could breathe alittle bit better and felt relieved.

My relief turned to fear when J brough Ladybug home. She actually was acting quite spry for having had surgery. She has two ports in her incision to help with the healing. She really seemed restless and we had to collar and crate her. J was up with her most of the night. I slept upstairs and J stayed with her. Thank God for him.

This morning I was just a nervous wreck because I could finally see her incision. Its about 12 inches long. My c-section incision was half that.

*Gulp*

I have to say I am really feeling anxious and sad for Ladybug.

Going through my mind right now are flashback to what I went through with my c/s. Ladybug was right by my side the whole time. So gentle and calm. That is how I am trying to be for her.

Its hard.

I hate having to crate her and keeping a collar on her. I know its for her own good. Its really hard to keep Isabel away from Ladybug and I am not sure how I will do two weeks of this. Isabel is everywhere.

I want Ladybug to survive this surgery, not to get infected and for this lump to be benign.

I know God is in this. I know that He is watching over us.

I do wish I could say I didn't feel like asking Him for a break though.

Right now this all feels like too much.

All I am asking for is to get through the next 2 weeks and that Ladybug stays strong, heals quickly and we all make it together.

That is my prayer because this feels like alot and I am just trying to BREATHE.