I miss her

This morning I woke up to a smiling little face, it was if her double ear infection dissappeared...not only did she wake up in a good mood but she woke up late AND is now down for a nap! Woof, its a relief thats she's feeling so much better!

Today marks two years since my Nonna passed away. That day is seared in my mind forever, getting the news from my sister while I sat on the front steps of my house and cried. Shortly after it sank in I rushed to write a blog post that would capture my Nonna . I wasn't trying to capture my feelings of grief but of the love and cherished memories of her. While they were fresh in case they faded.

I am glad I wrote that post as we used part of it for her eulogy. But the memories and cherished moments have not dulled or faded.

She lives in my hear everyday.

One tangible way is by her name. Isabel or Isabella or 'sabella as those close to her would call her.

We chose the name Isabel as a tribute to her and though I wish she could have known when she was alive I was planning to do this, I know she is honored just the same.

Every time I look at my Isabel, I see my Nonna. Not just because her name reminds me of her but she has my Nonna's lips.

I know it sounds crazy but my dad pointed this out. She has a little white 'divit' I am not sure what its called but its on her bottom lip and its the same as Nonna's.

No one else in my family has it but now Isabel does. How special is that?

THis time last year I was feeling so sad that Isabel wasn't born sooner so that Nonna could meet her. But now that Isabel is here, I feel like Nonna is living on through her and in our hearts.

I know she would be so proud of her, she would call her 'booba bella' or however its spelled. She would sing to her in Italian and have fun feeding her noodles with sauce and pinching her cheeks.

She made not be here to do it in person but we all are. Its been so amazing to see how my family have picked up these little things and do them. Especially my dad. Its the sweetest and makes my heart melt to see how much he loves her.

No one can replace my Nonna and yet alittle bit of her is living inside all that knew and loved her.

We will carry on her legacy, her traditions and her loving ways. I can still hear her voice, see her face and feel her love in my heart.

She was a loving, kind, wise and talented lady that had a big heart and lots of love. She wouldn't want us to be sad for her and mourn so long but its hard not to when she was just such a special lady we all feel that deep sense of loss still.

So, I know I will always miss her and wish she were here I know that she still is.
I am honoring her memory in little ways:
Sowing basil seeds in the spring
Teaching Isabel how to make sauce, meatballs and pizza
Feeding her these things too ;)
I sing little songs to her
I tell her all about Nonna and show her pictures

These are little things but its special just the same. If I look around at all the people that loved her especially my dad and sisters, I can see how she affected them and how she influenced each of them.

She would always say 'I am just a lil' old lady' and I would say 'But you are the best, you are my Nonna' and she would smile that warm smile that even shown in her eyes.

We love you Nonna, we miss you and your 'lil Isabel' will grow up knowing all about you, I promise!
xoxoxo