Its hard to say goodbye

I have been meaning to mention that Josh's nana passed away last week. It still feels surreal because her funeral isn't for another week.

I think it will hit both of us more when her services happen. However, her obituary was published in the local paper. It was beautifully written by my MIL I think. I learned a bit more about her just by reading that obit.

When I started dating J, she welcomed me with open arms. She tried to find things we had in common and always asked about my family and my life. She was an excellent conversationalist. We both loved to garden, going to the beach and loved our pets unconditionally. She was known to say what she though right there on the spot, and yes she did that to me more than once but it was usually in jest. Soon, I became known as 'princess #2'. My SIL was #1, no arguments from me!

When J and I got engaged it was during a time when his family was going through alot all at once. His nana was in LA housesitting for her son when hurricane Katrina hit. She made it through the storm but while she was going through that, her son passed away while on vacation.

Our marriage became a bright spot out of really tragic situation. I definetly started feeling more of a part of the family after going through that. That was the Christmas I got her handmade stocking that was a family tradition. I guessed I was 'in'

After we were married, she went in for a procedure to remove part of her lung. She ended up spending 6 months in critical condition at Mass General Hospital. She pulled through bravely but it took a toll on her fragile body. And I would say she wasn't the same after that.

In the last year J and I both noticed a decline in her health and her demeanor. It was hard for us to watch. When we told her about Baby N, she was over the moon. I think it gave her something to live for.

In the last few months I wasn't able to visit her as much because either I was sick or she was and since neither of our immune systems were at their best the last time I saw her was J's 30th bday in April. She did always ask J about me and baby when he would see her. So I still felt connected.

She really declined since April and after a hospital stay, she came home and passed away with her family with her. Death is never easy to take. It doesn't matter if someone is older or sick, it still hurts. We can take comfort that someday we will see her again and she isn't in pain any more.

However, its hard for me when I think about her never meeting Baby N. She even started a stocking for her *sigh* that really brought tears to my eyes.

She was always thinking of others. She will be missed but we are all better for knowing her.