It was a scary week

On Monday
Infectious disease came to visit and take samples to determine what bacteria I had and to find a drug that would work for me. Meanwhile, my infection continued to spread around to my back and up my sides. I continued to be in alot of pain and the pain meds could barely keep up, it felt like searing pain from hip to hip.

This week became a blur of doctors, nurses, Isabel, mom and J. In between feeding Isabel I tried to sleep as much as I could which with the constant poking and proding and visits was really hard. Not to mention I had the most uncomfortable bed, these labor beds are not meant for spending more than a couple of days in. My backside was numb from the pressure of the mattress, ugh!

One of my nurses, Denise was able to get me a new bed and moved me back to my original room (the one I was in the first stay). I liked that room, felt more comfortable in it and it had really good temperature control because I was flashing hot and cold. Also, the doorway was at a different angle and I didn't feel like I was hanging out when folks came in.

Mom and J were doing all the baby care, I was just feeding Isabel. That was one of the hardest things because I was her mom and I wasn't doing anything. I felt distant from Isabel. This little being I grew on the inside me for 9 months was here and I could barely hold her. The breastfeeding did help, it gave me a mission and a chance to bond. I was thankful that despite the meds, I could still feed her.

By Wednesday
I had a visit from Dr. Caron who was on call in the morning. She looked at my abdomen and pressed on it only to have the infection break through the skin... ugh! When a Dr. says interesting, thats not a good sign. She decided I would need surgery to clean out my wound and get ahead of the infection.

My heart sunk, I had a feeling I was going to need surgery but really hoped that all the dressing changes I was enduring would prevent it. I felt like I had failed. I was scared of the anesthesia, the pain and being away from Isabel and J.

I had to wait ALL DAY for the surgery because I had breakfast. As the day went on I felt more and more uneasy. Before my surgery I remember telling J I was scared I was going to die. He said I wouldn't but I just felt to scared. I took my mom in the bathroom before I went down and told her just what I wanted for Isabel if I died. I know that seems extreme but I just felt so scared.

I kissed J, Isabel and my mom goodbye and was wheeled down for surgery. Interestingly, the anesthesiologist remembered me from the surgery I has last year. I knew this surgery was a big deal when there were for doctor's there. My OB, the on call OB, the OB that delivered Isabel and a general surgeon. I just prayed that I would come out ok and live to raise our daughter.

It seemed like no time had passed when I came out of surgery. They had opened up my incision more, made another incision and I was done. Well at least with surgery. Next was the wound vac. They were supposed to attach it that evening during the surgery but for some reason I had to wait until the next morning.

I was so greatful to be ok and back in the room. While I was in surgery J and mom took Isabel for a spin in her stroller outside the hospital and all around. I was glad they kept busy.

I must mention that my sisters wanted to be with me every minute but they were leaving for a big trip to CA for our birthday and I wanted them to go and have a blast for me. Jolene did come and visit me the morning after my surgery and it meant so much to have her there. It was so hard keeping everyone informed about what was going and I missed talking to my sisters. Mom and J kept everyone informed for me. Yet, when Jolene came it was such a relief to see her and be comforted by her. It was fun for me to see Jolene marvel at how big Isabel was getting.

Jolene, mom, J and Isabel were there for my wound vac procedure. It was a very painful experience. Basically the incisions were connected with foam and tegaderm and tape. Tubing attaches to the foam and attaches to the pump which removes the infection continuously. The wound care nurse, Kelly (who I loved and was such a character) and the infectious disease Dr (who had this happen to her) reassured me this was the best thing. It was painful and cumbersome but they said I would heal faster but I might have it on until Thanksgiving ugh!

I felt like I was tethered to my bed with the wound vac and continuous IV line that had two kinds of IV antibiotics pumping through. I have to say I am greatful they finally found the right combination of antibiotics to kill the bacteria because it was scary to see it spread and spread.

Despite it being a difficult, scary and tiring week there were some highlights.

• Isabel was growing, they weighed her and she had gained back her birth weight and then some
• Breastfeeding was getting better and Isabel was getting the hang of it
• J and mom were doing so much to support me and take care of Isabel
• Despite being tethered to medical equipment I was getting out and walking the halls
• I ot to see some of my friends from my water aerobics class who had babies or were about to and some from my birthing class
• My sisters were having a blast in CA and sending me pix
• All of my nurses except for one were amazing and took great care of me, my mom brough cupcakes for them one of the days and we started saying 'cupcake for you' when I had a good nurse
• I was also have a good experience with most of the lactation consultants

By Saturday
They were talking about letting me go home. On one hand I really wanted to go home on the other I didn't feel ready. I had to stand my ground and demand to stay and stay on the floor because they kept trying to send me up to med/surg. Gotta love healthcare system.