The first few days with Isabel

Saturday: The first night

The first night with Isabel was in a word surreal, she was sleepy and precious though, all I wanted to just hold her forever. All I can say is J and I were absolutely in love with her. We just kept looking at her and each other marveling at this little creation. We prayed for her health because of the uterine infection I had and the IV she had just in case.

I finally got to nurse her with the help of the lactaction consultant, Heather. And honestly, I felt how I would imagine it would, it was comforting to actually be feeding her because it was something I felt was so important during pregnancy and was so worried I wouldn't be 'good at'. She definetly instinctually knew what to do, it was just such a beautiful moment. Being able to nurse her was the ultimate in bonding for me, as all the nurses and family and J were taking care of her the rest of the time, that time was 'our time'. And believe me I lost all inhibitions about anyone seeing my breasts...they became like any other useful appendage, like arms and legs and I didn't care who saw them.

J made the calls to family telling everyone Isabel had arrived. Some of our family knew were in the hospital but no one knew I had a c-section. We decided to keep the experience of the c-section to ourselves and we didn't want to worry anyone especially because the decision to do it was so fast no one could have gotten there in time anyway.

Katie our night nurse was back and recommended we let her go to the nursery. Of course, I didn't want to but I needed to sleep and so they just brought her in for feedings. The night was a blur and I just kept waking up reminding myself that we actually had a baby!

I was hooked up to an IV, had a catheter and really could not get out of bed so everything was done for me day and night. I was given meds and had my vitals checked so much I felt like a science experiment.

Sunday: First visitors
In the morning the visitors lined up. Mom was the first to arrive and after a quick visit with Isabel she and my day nurse Carrie helped me get cleaned up... which was amazing just to shower after all that! Then my FIL, his wife, my sisters and brother in law arrived around the same time. It was so special to get to show her off to family. What was tough was the logistics of trying to have privacy to feed (not that I was embarrassed more that I needed to focus on how to feed her properly and visitors were distracting). As the day went on more family came, my MIL and Susie our friends Jessie and Erich. I was so beat honestly by the end but could understand why everyone wanted to be there.

That night Katie was back as my nurse and she was checking my incision and saw that I had a pink rash forming from my incision point up to my belly button. The on-call OB recommended to mark it with ink so they could see if it spread. Awesome, it was like connect the dots because I had scars from my previous surgeries, stretch marks and now this!!!! I can't say I was feeling all that great at that point but was doing ok.

Monday: Cellulitis? Ick!
Monday morning my OB was on the floor and looked at my skin and determined it was cellulitis and they put me on an antibiotic that I could take while nursing. Of course I am allergic to the best antibiotic for most things, penicillin so finding a drug that would work and was ok for nursing was harder.

I wasn't too worried about the cellulitis because mom had had it before but it was disconcerting when the pink patches were spreading on Monday. That night my Dad, Darlene my MIL and Susie came to visit. It was great to show her off but exhausting too. J did a good job keeping the visits brief as possible. It did give me a chance to eat while everyone else held the baby.

Tuesday and Wednesday: Days becoming a blur
By Tuesday they were pinker and more angry but we all thought that the drugs just needed more time. I was getting up and walking around more with help. I got another shower. Nursing was getting alittle easier and I was resting when I could. I know my grandparents visited and my mom did too but I can't really remember when. I think the fatigue was catching up, mixed with pain meds that make this time the most blurry for me.

J did alot of the baby care, diapering, holding, rocking, swaddling, washing bottles and taking Isabel out and about. The only thing I really did for Isabel is hold her and breastfeed her as often as she needed it. My colostrum was enough at first and finally my milk started coming in on Wednesday. With the help of pumping it was coming along but she did get alittle formula as a snack to keep her going. It took longer for me because I was so sick after my c-section.

Wednesday: Am I ever going home?!
By Wednesday my cellulitis was at a standstill and my skin in my abdomen was hard as a rock in places (freaky I know). Dr. Browne ordered a CT scan just to be sure I didn't have an absess. I almost had to pump and dump because of the contrast dye but lactation said I could still feed Isabel so I continued on. I have to say I was not excited about another CT scan since I had one the year before. That is massive amounts of radiation, however, I didn't want to take chances I had an infection and would go home with it, so on I went. The OB on the floor upped my IV meds to stronger ones to try to kick the cellulitis. By Wednesday night we were told that I would probably go home Thursday because my CT scan looked normal.

Thursday: We are going home!!!!
We got the word on Thursday morning that we could go home. I think every new mom feels trepidation about going home. Will I be able to do it all? Feed her enough? Deal with the sleep deprivation? How will J handle it?

We spent most of the day getting ready to leave, packing up clothes, gifts, bottles, it felt like we were moving! My IV was disconnected, I could put on real clothes instead of the johnny which was my new friend. I felt kind of crummy but decided that if the Dr.s thought I was ready I was going to go and do it.

Looking back this was my first false assumption. From here on out I had to learn to be my own best advocate. No one knew how I felt but me. Not the Dr., not the nurse, not even J.