Thats how I feel right now.
She used to say it when she wasn't feeling good or wasn't feeling terrible. I can totally relate today.
I guess because this time of year makes me think of her, her birthday is in just over a week and its the same as J's. When we were dating J would bring my Nonna a bouquet of roses to celebrate (which *swoon* I adored as did Nonna). Even when she realized they shared a birthday she said 'I always knew I liked that boy' haha!
This time last year is even painful to think about because even though I was holding onto a glimmer of hope, she was slipping away in the hospital.
Now that we are having a baby my heart breaks because I know how much she would have wanted to meet our baby. She would have been so proud. For now, I comfort myself by knowing she's in heaven looking down on us smiling.
She's with me everyday. I even have a picture of her on my desk with my great aunt Catherine (now passed) which was her aunt!
I know with life there is death... I just wish we got Nonna just a little bit longer. My heart still hurts with the pain of loss. But I know she would be the first to say 'Live life while you are young" and " don't be sad for me". I know she lived a good long life and I cherish the time with her.
2 comments:
OMG I have tears in my eyes...almost just cried. You captured her, and those memories perfectly. and I lovelovelove that picture. It's beautiful. And you capture the sadness we each still feel. I wish we had her longer too. and I have to stop typing so I don't cry! love you sis.
That is the most perfect description of her - I can totally hear her saying the "half and half" phrase with her cute Italian accent. Or my favorite (I remember this vividly from the eulogy we gave) - about how she watched us play dress up and said one day we'd "go married" and how happy she'd be when it happened. Oh man, now I'm gonna cry too. I love this Jen, such a great memory. xoxo
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