People are so nice

So no baby yet... but I am remaining hopeful! I am trying to enjoy these last few days with it being just her and I. I am going to miss this part for sure!

I have been blown away with how kind, comforting and encouraging people have been in these last few days.

For example,

• I have recieved many phone calls and texts from family (sisters etc.) and good friends not trying to bug me but 'checking in'
• We recieved a beautiful handmade quilt with matching outfit from one of J's co-workers that is all ladybugs and matches her room perfectly!
• I have been getting many encouraging well wishes from friends with and without kids. It is especially nice to have 'new mommies' cheer me on and encourage me because I know they know how anxious these 'waiting days' are, no matter how busy I make myself I am driven to distracting wondering when and if she'll come!
• My dear friend Jess came over last night, brought take out and kept me company because J was working late again this week. It was just so nice to have some one to talk to and it kept me from searching the web for signs of labor for the four billionth time!
• Today, I got some encouraging words from the nurse and a plan for how Baby N will be delivered should I need to be induced
• Also, a fellow grad student called today offering to bring my printer to my house from school because I went in yesterday to get it and couldn't lug it...he ended up not being able to come but still it was so kind
• Lastly, I was dying for a haircut and my hair dresser squeezed me in! I feel like a new woman!!

Now, I can't say I am not anxious or apprehensive about this baby arriving but it feels good to be supported by friends and family. I just hope she comes soon! I want to see her face!

Update Week #39: Will I make it to 40 weeks?

That IS the question in my mind! I had my OB apt yesterday, my NST was awesome baby was a moving machine so the Dr was happy. I waited an extra long time to see my Dr. but she is so great it was worth waiting!

Poor thing, she looked wiped out. She has been on-call and delivering babies since Friday-this morning at 7am.

She's funny though, she was cracking jokes and said motherhood prepared her well for a career in obstetrics!

So, all my bloodwork, blood pressure, and everything else looks good :) No pre-e so thats really good!

She did the exam and did a sweep (I will spare the details but its just what is sounds like) and said matter of factly that this baby will be here by Wednesday...ya like TOMORROW!!

I trust her medical opinion but I find it hard to believe! So, I came home last night feeling a mix of emotions and just tried to get everything at the house ready. To my crazy mind that include organizing the utensil drawer in the kitchen among other things!

I actually have been sleeping pretty well these last couple of nights which to me, is kind of miracle and I am thankful!

I am staying busy and active and even getting some work done on my dissertation so thats all good. J even went with me to vote!

So here may be my last real update because if baby N doesn't make her grand entrance by Sunday, I will be induced that day. I am hoping she comes this week just so my Dr. can deliver her but at this point its totally out of my control and I know that!

How far along? 39 weeks
How big is baby? 8lbs-ish
Weight gain? Holding steady at 30lbs
Kicks? Just wiggles, head bobs and an occassional kick/roll, I think she's pretty squished!
Latest craving? Water! I am soooo thirsty its just ridiculous!
Best part of the week? So far? The thought that she may arriving soon!
How do I feel? Uncomfortable if I sit/stand/lay down in anyone spot too long, otherwise feeling good!

39 weeks today!

False alarm?

Last night I had real contractions, timeable, painful and real. They lasted for 2 hours. I called my Dr. and she said to try to rest and sleep and if it gets worse call back.

J jumped to attention. He ran around cleaning and getting stuff together despite me insisting this probably wasn't 'IT'.

So we went to bed and waited. Slowly the contractions stopped and I actually slept pretty well.

Dissapointed? YES.

I have an apt at 1pm, we'll see if I made any progress or not.

In the mean time I am cleaning, organizing and trying to stay busy. I am off for a walk with the puppies to see if that helps.

I feel bad for J, he is just so excited he didn't want to go to work 'just in case'.

We will see what happens!

Commiting to church membership

Yesterday J and I went to our church's annual 'Pig Roast' an event for the community and church. I made brownie cupcakes to contribute to the event that satisfied my nesting needs for the day.

On a side note, I had been up almost all the night before suffering from the most horrendous heartburn I have ever had, I made the caramel apple cake (delish btw) and pulled pork sandwhiches (death of me for heartburn). So I spend Saturday napping and baking :)

We met up with our small group friends and made our way around the picnic. The food was great and it was really neat to run into people I work with and know around Durham including some ladies from my UNH water aerobics :)

One of the other reasons we went was to meet one of the church elders to say hello and confirm a time to meet today. We attended the membership class in July and decided to become members of this church. One of the parts of membership is meeting with an elder. We had been trying for weeks to make it happen so I am glad we are able to do it before the baby arrives. Turns out this elder and family literally live 8 houses down from us ;)

So we met this morning and discussed membership and our backgrounds and our intentions for being involved in the church. It was a good time of fellowship. One of the things we have to consider is adult baptism. This church is a non-denominational church but was founded on baptist principles.

How do I feel about this?
Well, at first I was looking at it more as a formality and almost felt weird about doing it because I consider myself more of a mature Christian rather than a new one. But the more I think about it the more I think it would be a good opportunity for J and I to affirm our faith together. We don't have to be baptized in the church, we can do it on our own. So we are considering how and when we will do it. We both were infant baptized. I don't think its necessarily wrong to only be infant baptized but I do think being baptized as an adult or when you are able to know Christ and accept Him into your heart then thats when baptism should be done.

So what about our baby?
We like the idea of infant dedication, a commitment in front of the church to raise our daughter to know God but we would let her get baptized when she is old enough to know and accept Christ into her heart.

So, we are waiting to join officially but it feels good to be settling into a church family again. Even the elder's wife was sweet enough to offer to help out when the baby is born. That just meant alot! Church family are valuable and I have missed being a part of one!

***********
On another note, I am struggling to be patient. All weekend I have known that my OB is on-call this weekend through Tuesday. I really want her to deliver the baby and I feel anxious at the thought that next week the French Dr. is on-call and would deliver her... ugh! If the baby doesn't come by next weekend then I will be induced on that Monday. I am just so up in the air with all this... definetly not in control! Guess I should get used to it! I really hope she comes today.. my Great Aunt Carolyn predicted she would come today...we'll see!

Update: Week #38

So after my really dissapointing appointment on Tuesday, my OB saw me at 6pm last night. J came with me and it was much better appointment.

Here are the highlights:

Baby N is a good size, in her opinion she isn't too big, I will likely be able to deliver her without a c-section and may even be able to go into labor on my own. She even gave us some tips on how to speed things up. Walking was one of them. Which is harder for me given my swelling. However, I have been making a concerted effort.

She made a point of telling me she is on call and the delivery doc from Thursday-Monday and to try to go into labor so she can deliver baby N :) Seriously, that is my prayer because the following weekend... the rude OB will be on... UGH!!!!!

If I don't go on my own by 9/20 then thats the day I will be induced. So I could use prayers that this baby comes on her own and hopefully soon!!!! I think the baby has dropped so thats a good sign!

I have decided to start saying home exclusively, I am working on my PhD. and resting as much as I can. Its just hard going into work with these really swollen feet and sitting at my desk. I can feel my feel throbbing and I limp around because my arches hurt so much. I don't get paid maternity leave so I am not obligated to work until a certain point so I am just working at home.

How far along? 38w 2d

How big is baby? Some where in the 8lb range

Weight gain? about 30lbs

Kicks? Rolls, punches, wiggles and stretches

Latest craving?

Best part of the week? Spending time with J today, he is working from home and I LOVE it! And spending time with my friend Crystal shopping and walking yesterday

How do I feel? Good, ready but remaining patient. I am dealing with a pretty bad case of insomnia which is really a bummer. This morning it was so bad I just got up around 3:30-4 and stayed up and fell asleep in the morning.

Dedicating this blog to cake :)

I am feeling alot better today, I got to talk to my Dr.'s nurse and my OB will see me today so I can ask her my questions and J is coming with me. Which will help me alot. He asks good questions and absorbs information quickly. I tend to take longer to process what is said so it'll be good to have him there.

In the end, I will do whatever my OB suggests.

******
So, today I am inspired to make this:

We went apple picking this weekend and I made this cake a couple of years ago for a cooking club dinner. My good friend Jessie and I were talking about uses for apples and I mentioned this dessert.


Yes, I have GD but I can have a small slice. Its a homeade yellow cake with apple sauce, the middle is a filling of sauteed apples with cinnamon and the frosting is a caramel buttercream.... ok I am drooling just thinking about it and the baby is hiccupping ;)

I wouldn't say I am nesting more just in the mood to bake because it is getting cooler :)



Caramel Apple Cake Recipe: (source Everyday with Rachel Ray by Susan Lily Ott)

Ingredients:
2-1/4 cups flour
1-1/2 cups plus 1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
4 sticks (1 pound) plus 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3 large eggs plus 2 large egg yolks
1/2 cup plus 3 tablespoons heavy cream
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3 crisp apples (about 1 pound), such as gala, peeled and thinly sliced lengthwise
1-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup store-bought caramel sauce

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350°. Generously grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans. Using an electric mixer, combine the flour, 1-1/2 cups granulated sugar, the baking powder and salt. Mix in 2 sticks butter at low speed until the mixture is crumbly.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the eggs, egg yolks, 1/2 cup cream, applesauce and vanilla. Mix into the flour-butter mixture at medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute.
Divide the batter between the prepared pans. Bake until springy to the touch and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with moist crumbs, 25 to 30 minutes. Transfer to a rack to cool for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the edges of the cake to release the layers, invert onto the rack and let cool completely.
In a medium skillet, melt 3 tablespoons butter over medium-low heat. Add the apple slices and remaining 1/3 cup granulated sugar and cook, stirring often, until the apples are tender and the juice is syrupy, about 15 minutes. Stir in the remaining 3 tablespoons cream and simmer for 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and let cool.
Meanwhile, using an electric mixer, beat the remaining 2 sticks butter and the confectioners' sugar until light and creamy. With the mixer on low, slowly mix in the caramel sauce.
Place 1 cake layer on a cake plate; spread the apple filling evenly on top, then cover with the remaining cake layer. Using an offset spatula or butter knife, cover the top and sides of the cake with the caramel frosting, swirling the top to make a decorative pattern

Dissappointing day

No, I am not bummed because it is a work day, I had a long Dr.'s appointment this morning that wasn't very promising.

I will preface this whole post by saying that I am definetly feeling emotional today.

I saw a new Dr. in the practice today. How new? This was her first day at the practice (not practicing but still). She is French and pretty young.

Usually, I see my Dr. on Monday's, first I have a non-stress test and then my appointment. Today, I had my NST and then an appointment with the new Dr.

She checked my blood sugar numbers and asked ME if they were good, um yea?! They are actually. She measured my belly and said 'wow big belly'..... I am thinking to myself, 9 months pregnant aren't I supposed to have a belly?

She did an internal exam and said that I am barely dialated, when my Dr. said last week I was 2cm. I know that each Dr. is different but thats a big difference if you ask me. She said I won't go into labor tonight... duh, I didn't suggest I would!! I know most first babies come late.

She also said she didn't think I had a bladder infection based on the urinalysis. Umm really?!!

I asked her about my growth u/s and she said she's in the 82nd percentile, so only 18% of babies are bigger than her at 37 weeks. Terrific. She said that my Dr. will want to induce me next week. Its frustrating because my Dr. keeps saying that she won't induce unless its medically needed. But every other Dr. I have seen says that I should be induced early.

I love my Dr. and trust her but I have to wonder if I should push to be induced so she doesn't get too big and I have to have a c-section. Ugh, I feel like I have no good choices.

I am frustrated that the secretary scheduled me with a new Dr. at 38 weeks. I have another NST on Friday, so I am going to see if I can touch base with my Dr. by then.

I felt so dissapointed and down that I cried the whole way home.

Labor Day but no labor for me....

Well I am officially 2 weeks away from my due date. My cohort of prenatal water aerobics friends have all gone 2 weeks early (except for my friend Crystal, shes' still baking her baby). I know that there is no way to tell when the baby will arrive and I can't say I want her out but, I am starting to feel ready, emotionally and physically!

This weekend, I kept busy. Saturday was my last prenatal water aerobics class and then we went apple picking (loved that) and then had friends over for dinner.

Sunday we went to church which was really reaffirming. I have been feeling anxious about labor and during church I just felt a sense of calm. It even moved me to tears when the scripture reading was about not being fearful because God is in control. Sometimes I forget I am not in charge, He is!

My ILs came up for a cookout and Jackie helped me put the finishing touches on the nursery ;) My sisters and Scott came by to say hi and pick up the wine they ordered. I laughed when it arrived because here I am 9 months pregnant accepting a crate of wine :) It must have looked ironic to the UPS guy.

Today we trecked to Hopkington for the state fair. I was proud of myself for showing restraint with the fair food :) I did have a corn dog, tried a fried oreo and got a drink but that was it ;) I wanted so many more treats but the GD stopped me. Maybe at the Topsfield fair I can splurge!

So right now baby N is still baking but I think I dropped. Last night I was having a lot of pressure in my pelvis and it was really painful. And this morning I noticed my heartburn was gone, so maybe she did drop.... We'll see how much longer she wants to stay in!

Oh Food Network you are my friend

Seems that even though my desire to cook is waning, my interest in cooking shows has increased exponentially!

Don't ask me why at 9 months pregnant and with GD, I find it entertaining to watch Food Network continously but I do!

Prior to getting pregnant, I loved to cook and bake. Each week I would make a list of new menu ideas and stuff to bake. This was especially true when J and I were first married.

Of course back then, he didn't appreciate it as much because I was always dirtying pots and pans and the kitchen.

Now? If I cook he's alot more appreciative and I think thats a good thing! Throughout the pregnance cooking has gotten more challenging, first because of morning sickness and then because of the standing in one spot makes my feet swell to the size of sumo wrestler's! So I cook easy meals and grill alot. Even grocery shopping has been a challenge.

I am slightly worried that with the baby and a tighter budget even when my desire to cook regularly returns we won't be able to afford it. Hopefully, I can get creative.

Actually, when we were growing up that was my job, making something out of nothing... well not nothing but with my mom (single) working and going to school during our middle school years there wasn't alot of extras.

That is where my interest in cooking really picked up. Trying out recipes and inventing new ones. Figuring out what I could substitute if we didn't have an ingredient.

My mom appreciated the effort even if the dinners weren't amazing. It at least grew my confidence.

Of course I made mistakes along the way. This is the story I will never live down. My gram always made muffins and cookies for us so I decided to try and make 'Yum Yum Gems'. Basically a spiced muffin with cloves, cinnamon and raisins.

I thought I had it right and yet it bothered me that when I mixed the cloves in, they didn't dissolve like the other spices. I figured that they would when they cooked.

Nope, I proudly gave my mom the first one (without trying them- rookie mistake). One huge bite and all she got were cloves! I had used whole cloves, the kind that go into ham. Ooooops.

I was mortified, not only had a made a mistake but I wasted all those ingredients. Everyone thought it was hilarious and I haven't lived it down yet. Someone even mentioned it at my baby shower! Ugh.

Oh well, I can say I have improved since those days and enjoy cooking, not only for my little family of me and J but family and friends. For a while we were even in a cooking club that met monthly to cook on a theme (fun for me, not as fun for J... he got to eat the dinners though!).

I think my re-entry into cooking may be slow but I have a list going of things I want to make that I haven't been able to eat since getting Gestational Diabetes so I can't wait for that. Technically, I can eat almost anything I want now, its just the quantity thats the challenge so I have forgone things that are iffy or have too many carbs because they are hard to count and I don't want to raise my GD levels. So after Baby N, I hope to get my cooking on!

Update: Week #37 and its 90210

So I think today I have hit my limit, I love this pregnancy and this baby of course but I am ready for her to come out! I didn't think I would get to this point but I am so there! Maybe my feelings will change when it cools off a bit but I doubt it! I am ready to meet her!

How far along? 37w3d
How big is baby? U/S says between 7.4 and 7.11 lbs...eeep!
Weight gain? 29lbs and you know what? I don't really care at this point!!
Kicks? Rolls, jabs, stretches, kicks its amazing she is so active and yet there isn't that much room in there!
Latest craving? Ice cream... yup a Hood Red Sox cone is my official bed time snack and the best part? It doesn't affect my fasting blood sugar!
Best part of the week? Seeing her on the u/s this morning: her little feet, face, ribs everything! Its amazing and I want to meet her!!
How do I feel? Still battling a urinary tract infection which is making me dehydrated and my BS numbers go up...its a battle! I am tired more than ever too, but night time insomnia has kicked in which isn't helping. Otherwise great!!!

This is me at 37w3d

Its September!

You know what that means?

Back to school! Its been fun reading FB statuses with friends commenting on getting back to school to teach, take classes or send their kiddos off to Kindergarten. Crazy dichotomy right?

Its a bittersweet start for me. I am feeling a mix of emotions. Generally, I love the start of the school year.

Why?

Well, in the past few years it has meant a mix of taking courses for my PhD. at teaching at least one course either as an instructor or a Teaching Assistant. For me, its fun to change gears from my summer research which is largely field research and is literally at the farms UNH owns in my squash and sweet potato plots. I have a renewed sense of energy and enthusiasm for teaching students and getting them excited to learn about plants and agriculture.

So, I will miss the class usually teach in the fall and yet I am glad that there is a terrific person teaching in place of me so thats exciting!

Taking my own classes?

Yes, well the burn out was about to set in, I am not gonna lie and now I feel glad to be done and moving on.

So what am I doing now?

I am attempting to get all of my data together and start the analysis. I say attempting because it takes input from a very busy statistician to be able to get the ball rolling and right now I am vying for his attention ugh. So that is keeping me busy and trudging into campus when I would rather spend the entire day in bed working with the AC on...no such luck!

So, while I am waiting for baby N to arrive, its a good distraction to have work to do and to feel a little nostalgic about the start of the semester. But I am sure in a couple of weeks this will all fade away as I open a new chapter of life!