Update: Week #28

So I am officially in the 3rd Trimester... still I feel like I am denial that all this is happening...

I am still waiting to hear back onthe GD test, hope I passed!

How far along? 28 weeks

Weight gain? None since last week so up 17lbs

How big is baby? Around 2.5-2.75 lbs

Latest cravings? Back to watermelon

Highlight of the week? Though the GD test stunk, spending the morning with J was really fun!

And I think its more obvious I am pregnant and not fat these days... thats working for me. I hate the "I feel fat feelings"

Monday morning in the hospital

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. J came with me to keep me company and that was really helpful. My sisters were texting me and the time went pretty quickly.

The test itself was gross especially the drink. And apparently I only have good veins in my right arm so I am expecting bruises but the tech was pretty gentle.

It was interesting spending half a day in a hospital. We didn't wait in the OB waiting room the whole time because the chairs were uncomfortable so we walked around and explored. I really wanted to see where labor and delivery is but it was a haul to get there so we just roamed on one of the hospital closer to my Dr.'s office.

For a while we sat by the elevators and it was neat seeing all the couples and and pregnant ladies coming up for appointments. There were college girls there for what I guessed were annuals and older ladies walking by too.

Made me think about what its like to be an OB. I am sure they see it ALL.

I even bumped into my OB in the haul while I was waiting and saw someone else I knew. Made the whole experience feel alittle more familiar.

I can't say that with my issues in the past I don't feel a little edgey being in the Dr.s office. I know more about what can go wrong. At the same time as each week passes I feel a bit more reassured.

After the test I demanded Friendly's as a reward. So, J took me there for lunch and then went to work. I came home feeling ok but then got a headache and crazy dizzy spell so I took a nap.

Come what may with this test. I am ready for whatever the results are...

And yes, baby girl was squirmy worm... talk about sugar high for the baby!!

I'll admit it.. I failed

my one hour gestational diabetes test.... ugh. It sucks! When I got the news on Wednesday I cried.

Did I do something wrong? Is it me?

Logically, I know that gestational diabetes happens to anyone and that just because I failed the 1hr. it doesn't mean I will fail the 3hr. test.

Obviously, if I have GD I will do whatever it takes to keep it under control. But I have to wonder about the test itself.

The one hour test one does not require a fast and you can eat normal food (minimizing carbs) before the test. Mine was at 1pm so I had eggs with veggies and a cheese snack.

One hour before the test you drink an orange drink that has 50g of glucose. Uck it was awful! Then they draw your blood after an hour. The maximum blood sugar rating must be under 135 mg/dl.

Mine was 165 mg/dl. which was 'slightly elevated' according to my Dr.'s nurse.

So, my next test is tomorrow morning and I have to fast from 8:30pm tonight until 8:30am when I will have a fasting blood draw and then drink 100g of glucose. Then let the pin cushioning begin. I have to have my blood drawn 1x every 1hr for 3hrs.

I was told to eat more carbs over the weekend than I usually do ugh. I feel like that is artificially going to raise my blood sugar. So I am eating normally, trying not to eat junk.

Tonight, I am barely hungry. I had sort of a weird eating day. I woke up craving quesedillas so I made them with cheese, ham, green onions and tomatoes. For lunch I had a tuna sandwhich.

Dinner? I was going to make grilled chicken but I don't wanna... me and chicken have a love-hate relationship.

So I am going to have to think of something healthy for dinner but I pretty much know that my blood sugar will be low in the morning (I hope). I just need to pass 3 out of the 4 blood draws to pass.

I am not trying to outsmart the test but I have had this test before and I know last time my blood sugar went down to 40mg/dl. after 2hours.

So, we'll see what happens tomorrow. All I know is baby girl is going to be zooming around in there because that will be alot of sugar for her!

One year ago today

This time last year I was told I had an ovarian torsion by a dr. I had never met from my Ob/gyn office while in quite a bit of pain in the ER.

And I thought it was appendicitis. I was on South Beach and I remember thinking... maybe I am having a gall bladder attack or its my appendix. I was trying to lose weight and honestly, I had come home the night before from the lab and felt fine.

I made dinner and J was home late. By 8pm, I was feeling queasy and had pain on the right side. So off to the ER we went at 9:30pm. By 2am the ER doc was not convinced it was surgical and didn't want to do a CT scan because he knew I was trying to get pregnant.

So home I went and laid in bed all night in agony. By the morning, I knew I was not going to get over this and could barely stand. Every bump on the way back to the ER was excruciating and it was the longest 30m ride of my life.

My mom was on vacation and out of cell range. So I called my sisters and dad who of course were worried.

J, was a rock. He was calm and patient and a good advocate in the ER. I just remember the pain getting worse and finally some pain meds coming my way.

Still when they send me off to CT I was scared. These thoughts went through my mind:

Could it be cancer? Appendix? Nothing?

What if I needed surgery? I've never had surgery before. I am scared of anesthesia!

I remember trying to convince my Dr. I could wait till morning or that I didn't need surgery.

But alas, off I went to the scary unknown of the OR. Dad and J were there with me until I went in. I said alot of prayers and just closed my eyes and prayed again that the anesthesia would work and I would be ok.

At that point, we thought it was a cyst or maybe my appendix, but no one said it could be my tube.....

When I came to, the first question I asked was "What's left" and then I found out it was my tube but I had my ovaries and they looked good and so did my uterus.

My surgery was held in the evening and I stayed over night and could not sleep. Terrified that this meant no kids in our future. I was groggy from the surgery and not really sure what the Dr. had said and J had my cell so I couldn't call him. I pretty much stayed up all night staring blankly at the TV and calling the nurse to help me pee.

What did I feel? Despair, sadness, confusion and a big WHY ME?!!!

I came home and was taken care of by my sisters and J. I healed but I was so sad for weeks after.

I had started the journey of trying to get pregnant and this just didn't fit in at all. I felt like I was tossed into a deep casm and that my dreams of motherhood were miles away.

Rationally, I knew women could concieve with one tube and that it could happen. But as the months ticked by and my cycles got longer, I started to lose hope.

However, I knew God was in this, He was reassuring me through this dark time. I didn't know how it would happen and definetly not when but I had faith.

Now that I am going to have a baby it still feels like a small miracle it happened given my lack of tube and possible PCOS dx.

I am greatful every day for the chance to become a mother. It has sensitized me to the struggle others have gone through and continue to go through to become a mom.

Getting pregnant in society seems to be viewed as an accident rather than a miracle. It is taken lightly. Even when it is clearly planned many still brush it off or take it for granted.

Not me.

Every pregnancy is a miracle and though I can't explain why some women that want children struggle, why some women that don't want them get pregnant and why miscarriages happen. I know that God always always always has a plan. Even if it doesn't make sense at the time. Hello? Why did I lose a tube while I was trying to get pregnant?

I still don't know, but maybe it was just meant to be that way, it brought J and I closer together. And maybe baby N was meant to be a September baby for a reason.

Regardless, it challenged my faith but this experience made me stronger and I am greatful.

Update Week #27

How far along? 27w 1d

Weight gain? *gulp* 6lbs this month so 17lbs...

Kicks? All the time it seems

How big is baby? 2.5 lbs.... maybe I can blame the weight gain on her ;)

Latest craving? Seltzer water... I know its just water with bubbles but it makes a difference!

Highlight of the week? Getting to hear the hb at the dr. on Monday.. so strong! Very reassuring.

Monday I had my gestational diabetes 1hr. glucose test. I felt very weak and tired after drinking the flat orange-y soda. I also had the Rhogham shot because I am Rh-. So, it was eventful appointment. I hope I passed the GD test!

Here I am this week.. feeling bigger even if its hard to tell...so I am doing a comparison

17 weeks vs. 27 weeks

Father's Day camping trip recap

I am sure you are curious as to how the trip went!

Well Friday J and I got up early and finished packing (I have to admit I was tired from getting together with my sisters and dad for an early father's day dinner) and hot but we got it done and were on the road by 10am.

My FIL was already at the site by the time we got there. The pups were excited to be there. I think they rememebered it.

We unpacked the car, I was slow but we got it done and I loved my reclining camping chair it was a life saver! I was able to relax and enjoy the afternoon with J and his dad and the pups.

Jackie my SIL arrived in the evening and we had dinner and s'mores of course. Which were delicious of course! The campfire kept the bugs away fortunately!

Saturday we had a huge breakfast courtesy of J's dad and then I took a really long nap, night sleeping didn't work for me. There was a huge bull frog colony that kept me up in between my pee breaks to my little outdoor potty.

In the afternoon Jackie and I went to the beach and got some sun and stood in the water, I didn't swim... there were a ton of kids and I just sensed peeing going on. We did some book reading and made dinner. Pretty much had a slow relaxing day and evening by the camp fire.

Sunday morning I was up at 4:30 am because the dogs were restless so I walked them and ate breakfast. We broke down camp and were out by 8am. We were home by 9:15 and unpacked by 11am. I was beat and napped from noon to 4pm! J on the other hand busted his butt to do the yardwork and finish unpacking. We were both pretty beat.

So the bottom line? Camping weekends are relaxing but alot of work and we both feel like a longer weekend/4-5 day camping trip would be more worth the packing/unpacking.

For me this year was different for several reasons:

1. I am pregnant, duh that makes sleeping, getting in and out of the tent, sitting, standing or doing anything for long periods harder. I walked miles probably going to and from the bathroom and the little camping potty was a saving grace at night!

2. We went with family, last year we went alone and that was bonding for the two of us.

3. We took the dogs, when we summer camped we boarded the dogs and in the fall we took them but there weren't as many folks camping so it was easier, less dogs to bark at!

4. We went for a weekend and I could tell it was more work for J this year because I didn't do all the packing/unpacking setting up I usually do. That was hard for me.

I think it was a good trip but not the same as last year. I am glad I went and we will go for the 4th of July with friends. I am hoping it will be alittle less stressful and not so hot but sunny!

The dogs loved it and were equally beat when we got home!

Speaking of growing things

So I haven't talked about my garden in a while. I have to say I am going through withdrawl because its this time of year that I am usually out in the field planting... this is my field plot from last year.

Awww these little seedlings hold so much promise! Well despite being pregnant I would not have have plants in the field this year anyway as my field research was completed last fall. However, I would have been out their planting the breeding material for my advisor.

So, I took solace in that I could plant my own garden. Well at least I was able to weed much of it over Memorial day and J put down the mulch. I put in the tomatoes, swiss chard, beans, peas, kale, and morning glories but J had to finish for me because my back was screaming. I am talking constant back spasms for 4 days! Eeek! So he put in the zucchini, cucumbers, nasturtiums and pumpkins.

I still have more to put in but much of it is coming up. It is a satisfying feeling to grow stuff for myself. At the same time, I cut corners. I should have ammended the soil better and put in drip irrigation and spray more pesticides. I know what to do and recommend to others what to do but when it comes to do doing it myself I am not as good about it. Funny huh?

Pictures are soon to follow of the progression of this year's garden :)

Endeavoring to camp at 26 weeks pregnant

Yea it sounds alittle nuts but I think camping will be fun. We are going to BearBrook State Park in Allenstown, NH with my SIL and FIL for Father's Day weekend.

We went last year with the dogs in September, just me and J. We had such a blast. I hadn't camped in years but really it was such a fun low key vacation. Those memories I will cherish forever. No hassles of flying, $$ hotels, hectic schedules.

Just set up a tent and start a fire and relax with a good book. We went to Umbagog State park earlier last summer and that was a blast too. It was just me and J and his dad's family stayed nearby. It was just a good adventure, lots of together time.

We could really unplug and not sit in front of the TV and veg out. We talked and we worked together.

This year though I am pregnant I really want to go. I made one caveat, we need to go with other people only because setting and lugging all the stuff on the site would be too hard for me at 6 months pregnant.

So this weekend we are going with his family and in two weeks for the 4th of July we will be going with good friends and their dog.

Some things I need to account for this year that has me a bit worried:

1. I am a do-er. I like to get stuff set up and it will be hard to let J and his dad do most of it.

2. Its going to HOT and I hope I am not too uncomfortable. I am hoping my mat clothes are comfy enough and I might even bring a sundress even though we are camping

3. Bathroom proximity, we are close but I foresee bad things happening if I try to waddle to the bathroom 3-4x a night. So J bought me a little potty. I will probably keep it next to the tent and just pee in the dark as needed LOL!

4. Sleeping, granted I don't sleep well now so what different will an air matress make? Probably not much..... we will see

I look at it as an adventure and J LOVES camping and it makes him so happy that I think its worth putting up with what makes me uncomfortable for his sake.

We will see if my altruism lasts :)

This us camping last year with the dogs :)

Update Week #26

So this week, its all starting to really feel real. I see a bump that sticks out in anything I am wearing. I can feel her kicking all the time and I am enjoying the process but I can't say I don't honestly wonder if I am going to be able to do this! Be a mom? Feels like a humungous undertaking! And it is. In my head I know I can do it and in my heart I already love her so much and would do anything for her but still. I am anxious.

A good friend reminded me of something in Bible study last night. We were talking about going into missions with children and she said that someone with kids and a missionary reminded her that 'our children are God's children first'. Ultimately, God is in control and will watch over and protect them. That was a freeing concept for me. He is watching over this child even before she is born. What good is me worrying about every little thing? Nothing! It takes away God's power.

So, I am not saying I am going to throw my hands up and say whatever happens happens but trust that God is in control.

Sooo on that note:

How far along? 26 weeks

Weight gain? 11lbs-ish....maybe more maybe less

Maternity clothes? Yes, obviously I might omit this question because it seems redundant but I have to say I am thankful for friends that have given me maternity clothes! Helps so much!

Kicks? All over the place! Wish she would kick out more so J could feel them more

How big is baby? 2lbs!!!

Latest craving? Watermelon!

Best part of being pregnant? That every day is take your daughter to work day :)

I realize these bump pix look the same (Jo mentioned this over the w/e). Not sure how to make it more clear she is growing unless you see me in person and then I am sure I look huge!!

PS. folks have started to ask me to put pix of me on FB... Tacky right? Or maybe one if its not an obvious baby bump shot?

Delving into my research...there's a monkey on my back!

So I have been looking forward to getting back into the lab full time without the distraction of undergrads and teaching. However, my department hallway is a ghost town. And I have realized I am not just a lab rat that enjoys solitude. Don't get me wrong there is NOTHING wrong with that at all! Its just not me.

I crave human interaction. I am the only student in my lab right now which I do enjoy because I can spread out and use all the equiptment I need. However, I would love to have someone in another lab to have lunch with or shoot the breeze once in a while. There needs to be a balance.

I also feel like it spurs me on to keep going. Its motivation. Sometimes I can procrastinate (noooo really?!) so that helps keep me on track.

Right now I literally feel a monkey on my back with the research I need to finish up. Its got to be done by July 1 and I want to work as long and as hard as I used to but with the pregnancy I am slowing down.

So we will see how this week goes!

What up with technology in church?

Today J and I went to church, for the first time in a few weeks (sad to admit it but its been harder for me to get up and go in the morning).

We have been trying a new church, it has been a tough move because there was alot about the church we were attending but it was time to move on.

I feel that God has led us to this church and though its not a perfect fit (there are a couple of things I don't love about this one) but its a pretty good fit. Anyway I digress.

Today I noticed members of the congregation using Ipods and one even using an Ipad!! Hmmmm I just think thats so disrespectful!

I know that churches have increased in their use of technology, more high tech music/sound, use of ppt for praise/worship and even for the sermons. I can't say I love that either but now I see texting and other stuff going on during the service and it really bothers me.

It could be because when I teach and I see this going on, I feel offended. How can anyone pay attention to two things at once? I know its becoming the norm. Heck, I even saw administrators checking their Bberries during seminar this week.

What does this mean? I guess that technology is really changing us as a society and it is even in church!

This makes me sad because I really like tradition and I wish that these new pieces of technology weren't invading every aspect of society.

Week #25 Update

How far along? 25w1d (doesn't seem possible)

Weight gain? 11lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes and would you believe some of them are starting not to fit..eeek

Kicks? Yes and J can feel them too along with hiccups!

How big is baby? somewhere around 1.5-1.7lbs

Latest craving? Nothing new just fruit and cereal

Best part of being pregnant? Feeling her kick!

My only complaint really is my swelling feet and my back aches. Otherwise I feel great but am starting to slow down physically.

I have had to learn to let J do more for me, even the fun stuff like planting my garden because it was too hard on my back *sigh*. I hate making J do more for me because he already does so much. He has been a good man though! Even took me to Sonic in MA (over an hr. drive) just because the commercials were tempting me!

You can't really tell in this top but I have really rounded out! Guess there is a baby in there!

Furchildren= First Children

This morning I woke up and hobbled to the bathroom only to look down and find my cold pack on the floor with two bite marks in it and some of the blue gel on the carpet. Of course I could not tell which pup was the culprit, maybe both but the bottom line was that this is not a good situation.

I should have known better than to leave my cold pack out, my back has been very painful and the cold pack helps. I was using a back of frozen veggies so I guess I will be going back to that. So of course J and I panicked a bit and waited for the vet to open. They directed us to call the ASPCA poison control. After a few minutes on the phone with the tech and vet it was determined that the contents was not toxic and if anything they might vomit but thats it. Phew. Relief. I felt like such a bad/irresponsible puppy mama. Can't say it didn't make me doubt my upcoming motherhood a bit.

But really when you think about it, pets are good practice for children. Not only do they need daily care (feeding, walking, bathroom trips and attention) but they are pretty much like toddlers with the exception that they don't talk. Which in a way will be what I will be facing for the first year or two with our baby.

Still, even though I feel like I am so cautious to prevent them from getting into things, they still have a naughty streak I can't always anticipate obviously. They get cold packs and sometimes the trash.... *sigh*. All I can say is that I do my best and love them unconditionally and that even though we have a baby on the way they will always be my first kids (along with Chloe and Zoe my kitties) and I actually think they will get more attention when I am home with the baby. Fur kids love back unconditionally and provide constant companionship I am greatful for always.

*******
On another note my fur niece could use some prayers, as well as my sister. Nala, is my 7 year old kitty- niece and she has been losing weight and is now down to 5.5lbs. She and her sister (Kayla) were rescued by my sister when they were just tiny little kittens. My sister loves, nutures and cherishes them. Those kitties have been there for her during some tough times, they helped her get through the passing of our childhood kitty, Shelby and through a divorce and provide constant companionship. They both have such expressive personalities but Nala had what I like to call a puppy-like demeanor. She eats hunks of chicken and steak like my puppies do and I swear when she looks at me she wants to bark ;)

I hate to see my sister go through this tough time with Nala. I know she will do whatever it takes to help her and not harm her. Today she gets the news about the prognosis and I am hoping for the best.

This is Nala:

So hug your fur kids tight and give them lots of kisses. They are precious and there is no love like it!

Never take anything for granted

Saturday afternoon my mom called, she does call occassionally but generally if she calls its not just to chat there is usually news involved.

Well, she said the local paper reported that someone our age had jumped off the bridge going into our hometown and she was around our age. *sigh* immediatly my heart sank.

Shortly there after I found out it was one of my neighborhood friend's sister who had taken her life. It was a shock, we grew up playing with both of them with the other kids on our street and I remained friendly through FB with her older sister. Her younger sister had moved up to my area and we had talked about getting together because they visit each other alot and we could make a day of it.

It makes me pause and think about how precious life is and how it can all change in an instant. I am fortunate to be so close to my sisters and can't imagine what I would do with out either one of them. I wished we didn't live so far away or I would have driven over just to give them hugs!

My heart aches for my friend and their family and I am sending prayers for peace their way today.

Week #24 Update

Happy V-day to baby N! This week if she had to be born she would survive but not without medical help obviously! Lets just hope she stays in their cooking for a while longer ;)

Confession of the day? I ate lunch at 11:15 and had what I would consider two breakfasts.... cereal at 7am and a wake up wrap from DD at 8am... not good!!! I am hungrrreeeee maybe she is going through a growth spurt hmmmmm?

How far along? 24 weeks 1 day

Weight gain? 11lbs and I swear half of its in my face :(

Maternity clothes? I need more summer stuff for sure

Sleep? Some nights are better than others

Kicks? Yes, and all over especially under my belly button

How big is baby? 1.5lbs

Latest craving? Ice cream, which is weird b/c I am lactose intolerant and I never really want it

Best part of being pregnant? Feeling her kick and nowing that this time its just me and her :) J can feel her kick but not as often as I can.

Are you getting sick of pix? I know it doesn't look like much is changing....but I feel like it is...

A Long weekend without water

I got alittle perspective this weekend about going without. Saturday night was came home to find out that we had no water. We share a well with 8 houses on our block and something went wrong and there were speculations that we may have run out of water in the well.

I was in shock and my mind started racing thinking about how we would ever afford to drill a new well.

Sunday morning J went to an emergency meeting to get the details while I trudged to the gym to shower. The neighors had called a well co. and we were hoping for the best. The well co. came later in the day (Sunday of all days) and worked, by 3:30 I heard the toilets filling back up... success?!

Well my neighbor called and said that it was likely fixed but we needed to wait 8h for the tank to refill. J had gone to his mom's and I was home feeling miserable with a cold/allergies. I ended up going over to my neighbors and visiting for a while and we all felt hopeful.

Until the morning. When we tried the water and nothing happened. Turned out Sunday night the well co. came back because something else was wrong so Monday we all played the waiting game again.

My heart sank.

Its hard being pregnant and having to pee every 30s and I can't flush, wash my hands nothing! That was my woe-is-me moment. However, we made the best of it, we grilled, we bought water and paper goods and even had a little cookout with friends yesterday.

Last night we got the call that the well was fixed for sure and we could use water sparingly to shower and flush for the next 24h. Feels good to shower at home. I have a mountain of dishes waiting for me when I get home though.

I am hopeful this didn't cost an arm and a leg, I think our dues have covered it but I won't know till tonight. It just gives me perspective. Especially about how important water is and just how much we use! From filling the dog's bowls to washing hands, watering the garden, dishes and laundry. We as a society are pretty wasteful with water and it sure makes me appreciate what we have now!